You are currently browsing the daily archive for May 21, 2021.

I thought I’d tell you a little story about my life. I was once a long-time friend of a person I should not have kept a relationship with for very long. I met this girl in primary/elementary school, & we became fast friends. From that point on, we were practically inseparable. We both lived on the same street, very close to each other, so that was an advantage to our friendship. Back then, I was an incredibly gullible & naïve kid, also a pushover.

Oh man, this friend got me to do so many stupid things that I absolutely regret & cringe at whenever I think about it. No, she didn’t get me to do dangerous or illegal things, but they were just childish stupid things nonetheless. I had no idea that throughout our friendship she was pushing me around, not in a bullying way but more like in a manipulative way. This girl definitely wore the pants during our best friendship.

I got to know this girl’s entire family when we were friends. She lived with her mom & grandmother just up the street from where I grew up. We were so close as kids that she even invited me to go with her every weekend to visit her terminally ill dad in the nursing home. I was so close in friendship with this girl that I even got to know her extended family (ie. aunts & uncles). Little did I know that throughout our lengthy friendship, this girl had a crush on me, & I sort of had a crush on her mom.

Now, when I say “crush”, I mean she was physically attracted to me, & I idolized her mom. I thought this girl’s mom was super cool. She was a self-professed hippie back in the 60s, complete with a fringe-y vest & flower crown headband. This girl’s mom even claimed that back in the 60s she & her husband would smoke pot (as well as other illicit hallucinogenics) & hang out at their local record store. She worked as a librarian at a local public library near our house. As kid, I wanted to be a librarian stacking books at a library. I thought that was a fun & easy job.

This girl’s mom was super laid back & always very friendly. She was soft spoken & very pretty. She always let us listen to her old vinyl records as long as we put them back after. She had all of the original Beatles records as well as a bunch of other cool ones from the 60s & 70s. I guess I kind of wanted to be like this girl’s mom in a way; a young woman-about-town, living a carefree life, with a simple job, & listens to cool music. This girl’s mom taught me all about music from the 60s & 70s. That’s how I developed my interest in music from that era.

Let’s get back to that “crush” thing I was talking about earlier. I had no idea during our friendship that this girl was attracted to me as more than just a friend. Now, I can’t say that she was in love with me or anything like that, but I can definitely say that when I now look back on our friendship, I can see that she was trying to figure out her questionable sexuality & I was her easy target. I remember one time when I had invited her over for one of our many sleepovers, & just like in that one scene in the 1995 The Brady Bunch movie, she tried to feel me up by putting her hand on my thigh, & multiple times that night she tried to get me to touch her fully clothed crotch. There were also a couple of other times sprinkled throughout our friendship where she tried to get me to touch her crotch. I didn’t notice these signs at the time. I only noticed these red flags long after our friendship had ended.

Geez, there were so many incidents throughout our friendship that should have made me seriously question &/or straight up end our relationship, but I always gave her second chances & benefits of the doubt. I never questioned her when she tried to sabotage my reputation amongst our friend group by spreading hurtful gossip. I didn’t even bat an eye when she had me call the police (in a naïve panic) & make a falsified police report regarding a death threat she received against one of my family members. It wasn’t until we both left for college & she found out I had started dating my first boyfriend.

I guess at the time she couldn’t handle that I was dating, or maybe she had mistakenly thought before that I was a closeted lesbian & was surprised to find out I was dating a male. We hadn’t really kept in touch during the summer before each starting college (or whatever she had planned to do after high school). Then, all of a sudden, during my time out of state for college, she contacts me out of the blue & asks all kinds of strange questions about my then boyfriend. She didn’t ask about me, her longtime childhood friend. She only talked about him & asked questions about him.

I ultimately broke off all contact with this girl when she began asking me if it would be okay if she met up with my boyfriend without me being present. The final nail-in-the-coffin moment in our friendship ending was when she asked me very specifically & strangely if I would mind if she met up with my boyfriend & hung out with him in a hot tub. I knew at the time that my boyfriend lived with his parents & they own a hot tub, which I’ve become well acquainted with on a few dates with him. So, my mind immediately spiraled into a black hole of negative thoughts. I made a huge “how could you hurt me like this?” scene to my boyfriend over email & instant messenger. I was playing sad break-up songs all the time. Then, I cut off all contact with this girl…but only after I cussed her out like I’ve never cussed anyone out before, & in very specific words I told her our friendship was as dead as death himself.

As you can clearly see now, I am no longer with that first boyfriend, & I have had no other contact with this girl from my past. I will give her a lot of credit for shaping my hobbies, interests, & tastes in music, but I no longer look back on our friendship in any positive light. That girl did shake up my life & made it more interesting (not sure if that’s a good or bad thing), & she gave me quite a few unique stories to tell. However, if I could redo our friendship all over again, I would have definitely guarded myself a little more from this girl & not let her get so close to me & my family. I remember her from time-to-time, but I don’t ever think about how she’s doing now or where she lives now. I only ever wonder every once in a while if her dad had ultimately passed on, & what’s her mom up to these days. Her…not at all.

That’s pretty much the end of this story time. Until next time, cheers!

Today’s song of the day:

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