What’s behind my closed door?

On an unrelated note, one of my other cousins just got engaged. We’re going to start this post with that, are we? Yes, we are. I hope you remember the cousin I’ve been mentioning who recently got married in Mexico. Well, her baby sister just got engaged to her long-time boyfriend (he’s also her high school sweetheart). That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Now, on to my original topic. I’d like to talk about habits. Weird habits. Good habits. Bad habits. My habits. I have one strange habit; it’s not a crazy one, just strange for the fact that I am a thirty-something adult who still practices this habit.

I CANNOT GO TO BED WITHOUT CLOSING MY BEDROOM DOOR.

There, I confessed it. I can’t sleep at night unless my bedroom door is closed. I know that’s not some bizarre habit or anything to get worked up about, but it’s just something that I’ve been wanting to talk about. I think the reason(s) behind this habit is the weird part. Let’s flash back to my childhood. Dun, dun, dun! When I was a little kid, I had to share a bedroom with my older sister. Our house was designed & built in the Eichler style, so our bedroom had a sliding glass door, which obviously offered NO PRIVACY whatsoever. When my oldest brother moved out to attend college, my sister moved into his former bedroom. I, however, was stuck with the room with the transparent door. I didn’t mind at the time because I was just a little pip squeak who didn’t know any better.

Of course, when I became a teenager & privacy became something desirable, my parents moved my things into my other older brother’s former bedroom, WHICH ACTUALLY HAD A WOODEN DOOR! For quite a while, my parents wouldn’t allow me to keep my door closed. They also changed the doorknob so that it wouldn’t have a lock on it (not that I would ever lock my door). As I grew deeper into my teenage years, I would test my limits by closing my bedroom door for short periods of time, or keep it ajar, promising my parents that I would keep my bedroom door open if I had any friends over. Eventually, it just became a regular occurrence to have my bedroom door closed, & one of my older male cousins came to live with us for a short period of time. That was just one more reason to keep my door closed, I didn’t want him to barge in while I was changing my clothes or something embarrassing.

Even after my cousin moved out of our house & back in with his dad, I kept my bedroom door closed, mostly at night though. I convinced myself that it was to keep out intruders. A simple wooden door obviously wouldn’t deter highly motivated, ambitious &/or particularly aggressive intruders. However, it WOULD (possibly) slow them down while I attempted to escape through my bedroom window. I would tell myself, right before going to bed, that I should close my bedroom door to guard myself from potential burglars or predators. I knew that my flimsy bedroom door could quite easily be busted down or pried open, but at least my door creaked rather noisily (to my advantage), which would alarm me of a potential danger & prompt me to climb out of my bedroom window to avoid any harm as much as possible.

Eventually, this thought morphed into thinking that I should keep my bedroom door closed in order to keep out any unwanted spirits. This was when I was going through my Astrology-magic-witchcraft phase. Also, I was sorting through my thoughts of whether or not I believed in ghosts/spirits/apparitions. And…I had previously watched the movie The Mothman Prophecies (the one with Richard Gere, Debra Messing, & Laura Linney). So, I thought keeping my bedroom door closed would increase my odds of not being possessed or ensnared by any sinister force.

Till this day, I still sleep with my bedroom door closed, mostly out of routine & habit rather than for intruders &/or ghosts. Even if my room is sweltering in the summer heat, I will keep my bedroom door closed at night. I close my door at nig hit without even putting much thought into it. I like the simple sense of privacy as well as the psychological sense of protection it gives to have my bedroom door closed at night. Cheers!

Today’s song of the day: