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I’ve been working through some personal things lately, most recently being the discovery of adult acne. I’ve always taken good care of my skin, since I was a young child. My grandmother & mom were both very strict on skin care & cleanliness. So, I adopted & followed their astringent & regimented skincare habits. I had never before gone through any pimple or acne stages during my teenage &/or pubescent years. I thought that as long as I took good care of my skin, I would be in the clear (no pun intended). I was wrong, & now I’m dealing with a mild case (knock-on-wood) of adult acne on my chin/jaw-line. This has been giving me some feelings of anxiety, as well as with other things/issues going on in my life. In the back of my mind, I am constantly feeling a sense of mild anxiety.
This feeling of anxiety now brings me to the main topic of this blog post. Recently, I had a dream, one that’s been prominently on my mind for the past few days. I don’t understand what my dream means, or if it has any connection whatsoever with my skin problem, but I feel like there may be something connecting the two topics together. I will describe my dream later on in this post.
The night before I had this specific dream I had a fairly large, bright red pimple forming on my left jaw. I was really freaking out about it before I went to bed, & was practically slathering the entire tube of my prescription acne medication all over my face to try to get it to go away. I was obsessing over this one pimple, constantly examining it in the mirror & lamenting to myself about the hideous size & color of it. I finally gave up on analyzing my acne after fussing over it & went to sleep. The next morning, after experiencing this specific dream, I felt as though a small weight had been lifted from my conscience, & I felt as though my anxiety had lessened by a few degrees. The pimple I had freaked out over the night before had shrunk & gone down in redness. Most of my acne spots had shrunk, & I felt a positive wave wash over me. My first reaction was that it must have been because of the wonderful, yet strangely bizarre dream I had experienced.
And here comes the dream. I don’t always put much thought into the meanings of my dreams, but this one involved my deceased father. The dream starts off with me kneeling on my bed, looking out of my open bedroom window (which is located directly above my bed). I feel a pole gently fall down & hit my shoulder, & I recognize it as being a Spanish matador’s spear used in bull fighting. I pick up the spear & look out my window to see a group of people partially running past my bedroom. I ask one gentleman what is going on, & he informs me that they are participating in a running of the bulls event. I hand him the spear, & he takes it & walks back to his group. At this point in my dream I get the feeling that these people heading past my bedroom window are spirits &/or ghosts, but it doesn’t scare me at all. In fact, I was utterly calm throughout my entire interaction with the mystery man.
Immediately, a telephone rings in the background, & I am not eager to answer it. I am thinking that this may be a sales call from a telemarketer, but something strongly pushes me to answer the telephone. I pick up the phone & say “hello”. The person on the other end sounds like an automated female machine voice. The voice says my mom’s name in a monotone voice, & I run to call my mother over to answer the phone. She then comes over to talk on the phone, & I am asked by an unidentifiable person who my mom is talking to. I don’t even know who’s on the other end of the line, but I can clearly see that my mom is laughing & having a very friendly & lively conversation. I reply without knowing who my mom is talking to, “It’s my dad. It must be my dad.” I turn around to look back at my mother who is still on the phone. I then turn back to the other person, widely grin & say, “Yeah, she’s talking to my dad.” After that I wake up from my dream, & I immediately feel a small sense of calmness.
I don’t know what to make of my dream, especially the part about the running of the bulls & bull fighting, but I’ve been more focused on pinpointing the meaning of the second half of my dream, the part about my dad. I’m very much on the fence about the topic of spirits/ghosts & whether I believe in them or not, so I don’t really know what to say about my dream at this point in time. I have been debating whether or not I’m should tell my mom about this dream. I know she would love to hear anything positive about my dad, even in dream form, but I have a very difficult time talking to others about my dad (even with other family members). I even find it difficult sometimes to think back on my dad when I’m alone because it makes me feel incredibly lonely rather than reminiscing about happy memories.
This dream I had made me very happy. It still does even after a couple of days have passed. Thinking about this dream will always put a smile on my face, but I don’t think I will tell my mom about it just yet. Until then, cheers.
Today’s song of the day:
Let me start this blog post by giving you a little background information about myself (& possibly my family). My mother & grandmother are superstitious. From a nearly age, they would often remind me about broken mirrors, opening umbrellas indoors, no whistling, bell-chiming or screaming at night, etc. I grew up believing in some superstitions, while balking at others. As an impressionable (& wannabe rebellious) teenager, my friends & I liked to play with Ouija boards & play childish party games like, calling ghostly images in darkened bathroom mirrors.
Even in those times, I wasn’t quite sure if I truly believed in ghosts or strange entities… One part of me thought it would be cool if I could communicate with spirits & ghosts, possibly help them cross over to the “other side”. Another, much bigger, part of me was extremely hesitant regarding the subject. I was afraid a negative spirit would follow me & never leave me alone, or it would possess me & my head would be spinning around as I crawl all over the walls.
I tried to put this subject out of my mind for many years. This subject scares me a little.
I know a few people who have had unexplainable things happen in their lives, but I have tried to not believe their stories. One of these such persons is an extremely close friend of our family. Another was a girl I met in college who was a friend of my first roommate. Both persons claimed to have experienced very unusual, severe & unexplainable incidents revolving around spirits, ghosts & the like. Our family friend alleged that since her mother’s house was built on a former Civil War battlefield in Virginia, there may have been remnants of the war left behind. As for my college friend, she claimed that there was a small female child ghost haunting her bedroom at her family’s home. She explained to me that since she shared the room with her sister, the ghost gravitated more towards her sister rather than herself.
The most interesting incident was when my sister’s best friend claimed that her son experienced a ghostly sighting at our own family home. This friend & her children were spending the weekend at our house, & she did not mention anything until the night before they left. She seemed very reluctant to mention this incident to us, probably because she didn’t want to freak us out, or have us think she was cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs. To make a long story short, this friend explained to us that her son saw a male apparition in my mom’s bedroom. Since that encounter, he now refuses to enter my mom’s room, & he gets a little scared every time he has to walk past her room. This friend of my sister’s has claimed that her son has experienced ghostly sightings a couple of other times & has freaked out in those incidents as well. She believes her son has a special ability to see beyond what the average eye sees.
I don’t know if this spiritual sighting actually occurred in my home or not. One part of me wants to shout out that this boy is exaggerating his story. Another part of me wants to believe every part of it. Ever since my dad’s sudden & untimely passing, there has been a heavy blanketed feeling weighing down our house. Sometimes, I feel like I can feel my dad’s presence still lingering around the house. Most other times, it’s just business as usual. Now, I have never actually experienced anything otherworldly or supernatural myself, but I’m sure I’ve felt or experienced something, even just the tiniest inkling of a feeling. I really hope & wish it was my dad’s ghost, spirit, apparition, or whatever that my sister’s friend’s son saw that time. I would interpret it as my dad’s spirit lingering around to keep my mom company, protect her, & to watch over her. I can’t say for sure that this has made me a believer in the supernatural & all that, but it gives me a tiny sliver of hope. Until then, cheers.
Today’s song of the day:
Rabbits & Foxes 