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These are the random things that are flowing through my mind right now while I’m sitting at the big box coffee shop. 

  1. There was a woman who just walked past me, dressed in upscale threads, smugly carrying her designer handbag. She was obviously wearing too much cake-y makeup.
  2. I can’t actually believe I’m going back to wearing hair clips & headbands. A part of me feels like I’m becoming more aware of the way I dress & building my personal sense of style. Another part of me feels like I’m reverting to my days of being 14 years old & in high school, where I dressed awkwardly. I feel like I’m going to look childish & immature.
  3. When did I start to listen to ambient electronic music (i.e. Ukiyo) & dirty rap music (i.e. Big Sean)? I am trying to expand my taste & knowledge in music. I am still a creature of habit, but I want to grow in certain aspects & areas. Music is an extremely important part of my life, & I don’t know how I could get through a day without music. But… I feel like I’m listening to more & more weird stuff.
  4. I completely forgot how good a toasted bagel with cream cheese spread tastes. It is such a plain combination, but it truly hits the spot. I ordered a bagel with cream cheese today. I was debating whether I should choose butter instead of cream cheese, but I was so satisfied with my end decision. Oh man, add a few slices of lox (smoked salmon) & thinly sliced red onion & you’ve elevated your plain bagel to a whole new level. Then, add dill on top of that, & your tastebuds will rocket into outer space!
  5. Is it weird that I’m looking forward to washing my bed sheets? Jian has been very ill recently, & he’s only recently begun his recovery. I can’t wait to wash the stink, germs, & overall sick from the sheets. Then I can breath a sigh of relief. No matter how many showers you take, or what fresh laundry you put on, if your sheets are dingy/nasty/worn out, then you will always feel that icky unclean feeling all over your body. At least I will.

Ok, I now need to run off to the bank, then Target, then home to happily wash my gross bed sheets. Until then, cheers.

Today’s song of the day

“Champions” by Kanye West, 2-Chainz, Big Sean, Desiigner, Gucci Mane, Quavo, Travis Scott, & Yo Gotti


I am probably going to go to the bookstore and buy a book about the meaning of dreams after writing this blog post. I would really like to understand my dreams & find out if they have any meaning behind them at all, or if they’re just a load of crap thoughts floating through my mind while I’m sleeping.

My latest strangeย dream begins with me in the kitchen. For some unknown reason I am either thinking about or craving coffee. So I open up the main food cupboard in the kitchen & reach up to the top shelf to grab the electric coffee grinder.

At this time I should note that: 1. The cupboard’s top shelf in my dream is much higher than it is in real life because I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach it, AND 2. I don’t keep the coffee grinder in the food cupboard, or even in a high place.

As I’m standing up on my tiptoes to reach & grab the electric coffee grinder, the empty box I usually store the coffee grinder in falls down & gently hits the top of my head before landing on the ground. I momentarily look down at the box on the kitchen floor & think to myself, “Huh! Why is the box empty? I don’t keep that in this cupboard.” Then, I look up again to get the coffee grinder itself, but as I reach up, a box of cereal mysteriously appears behind the coffee grinder & also falls onto the kitchen floor.

Now I’m fully looking down at the kitchen floor, completely ignoring the coffee grinder I was intending to get in the first place. There is a huge mess of frosted corn flakes all over the floor, in the area right next to my small eat-in dining table. At this point I don’t even wonder how the cereal mess traveled all the way over there when the cupboard the cereal box fell out of is clearly ten-plus feet away, & there is no cereal trail leading from the cupboard to the table. (I am reading too much into these random details. Am I deviating from the main story? I call that the ‘Shiny Nickel’ effect.)

I absentmindedly start cleaning up the cereal by brushing the frosted corn flakes with my cupped hands into small piles on the floor. I also use my forearms to make sweeping motions across the floor. Next thing I can remember is that I’m scooping the piles of corn flakes & depositing them into random Tupperware containers, not even checking if the containers already have leftover food in them or not. As I’m scooping up the cereal, I look down at the mess & think to myself, “This mess never gets any smaller, no matter how much I clean it up!” Immediately following that thought I get an extremely strong urge to use the bathroom. I can no longer concentrate & only think of urinating. Why am I now debating with myself over cleaning up the cereal mess or taking a piss? I am actually mulling this over in my mind in my dream.

To pee, or not to pee. A very important discussion topic. Especially while cleaning up a cereal shit show.

Why am I making things worse for myself in my dream? I continue to debate whether or not I should just go to the bathroom & clean up the kitchen afterwards, or if I should wait to take a piss. I decide to get up from sitting on the kitchen floor & get the vacuum cleaner. I feel a sense of disappointment that I’m wasting the cereal, but I hate having a dirty kitchen. Suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, I take the time to notice that there are empty sunflower seed shells strewn about underneath the eat-in dining table. I shake my head & question who has been sloppily eating sunflower seeds again & not properly cleaning up after themselves. I know who the culprit is, but all I can do is grow increasingly frustrated with the filthy state of the kitchen.

Is it that time already? Can I hold back any longer? Should I prolong this agony even more? NO!

Finally, I tell myself out loud that I should go to the bathroom. I am now repeatedly telling myself that I need to take a piss, & I should not deviate from making a liquid deposit into the porcelain bowl. I tell myself so loudly that I need to piss, that I end up waking myself out of a sound sleep. I immediately, mechanically get out of bed & tell myself aloud that I am going to use the bathroom. I don’t know why I have to announce to myself what I’m going to do. There is nobody else in the bedroom with me. Why would my warm & soft bed care what I’m about to do? I’ve never wet the bed ever in my life, & I’m not about to start now.

Is it strange or ironic that I’m sitting in a big box coffee shop writing this blog post & the air conditioning is so extremely strong that it’s not only making me shiver from head-to-toe, but it’s also making me want to pee real bad? I don’t know, but I’m now going to hastily end this post so I can get the hell out of here & soak up the warm sunshine outside. Perhaps thaw myself out a bit. Cheers! Brrrrr……

Today’s song of the day:

“Sleep Now In the Fire” by Rage Against The Machine

This morning, as I was tidying up our bedroom, I decided to take a quick snapshot of the nightstands by our bed. On one side, it looks very plain & boring, while the other side looks cluttered full & “cozy”.

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close to the doorway

This is one side of the bed. It holds practically nothing on top of the nightstand except a lamp, bottle of water, a box of tissues & a small bottle of dry skin lotion. However, trust me when I say that the drawer is full of everything (chargers, glasses, nail clippers, headphones that’s never used…etc.). A laptop & work bag is usually tucked in the nook under the drawer & has a magazine rack tucked to the side to store an iPad & old magazines barely read.

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away from the doorway

This is my side of the bed. It looks cluttered at first glance, but I think it looks cozy. I have everything I could possibly need before I go to bed right at my fingertips! I enjoy reading (casually more than avidly), so I will always have a small stack of magazines & books next to my bed in case I get the sudden urge to read something. My drawer is not nearly as full as you-know-who’s. I’ve got a few essential items tucked away inside (pens, sticky notepad, my cheap Panasonic noise-cancelling headphones, nail clippers, a few dollar store nail files). I also keep my laptop underneath the drawer along with my can’t-live-without laptop cushion. Don’t let all of the stuff on my nightstand fool you. It may look “full”, but it IS organized!!

Being the neat freak that I am, I wouldn’t have it any other way but my way. I keep a lot of things by my bedside because I hate getting out of bed multiple times just to get one thing here & there. I like to sit in bed before I go to sleep & watch TV and/or surf the Internet on my laptop. I always have the habit of doing lots of things just before going to sleep. That’s my time to really relax & unwind.

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