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Change in environment freaks me out. It makes me feel anxious & very unsettled. That’s probably why I am a creature of habit. I watch the same TV show episodes & movies over & over again, & don’t really look for new things to watch. I do all of my daily routines in the exact same order every time. I like things to (mostly) always stay the same.

That has also trickled down in to my little bean’s life as well. She eats roughly around the same time everyday, takes her nap around the same time daily, & bathe around the same time before bedtime as well. This has programmed her body to naturally want to eat & sleep around the same times every day. While these habits are good to build structure in my little bean’s life, it also provides a sense of comfort for me as well because I know what to expect each day.

Tomorrow Jian & I have an appointment to take a tour of a potential daycare facility we might want our little bean to start attending. My mom has been hounding pushing us for months & months to send our little bean to daycare. She & Jian have both been pushing the narrative that our little bean needs to learn to interact more with other kids her own age & not stay cooped up in the house all day with no other kids to play with. However, I also know that they want a break from our little bean, so they have time for themselves.

Yes, it is important for our little bean to learn to play with others & interact with kids her own age. She needs to develope her own social skills & become more independent, but I’m terrified to let her go. Sending our little bean to daycare, even if it’s once or twice a week, scares me so much. I am having a very tough time coming to terms with letting her out of my white knuckle grasp.

Our little bean was born during the height of COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns. For the past 2 & a half years, she has always stayed by my side, & I was able to use the pandemic as an excuse to delay the inevitable…sending our little bean to daycare or to even hire a babysitter for a couple of hours. Just thinking about it sends alarm bells ringing in my head.

I have not been able to stop overthinking about tomorrow’s appointment. I know we are only going to take a tour of the daycare place. Who knows if they’ll even have availability for our little bean to go there. However, this kind of major change in her life & in mine, it freaks me out, & I don’t know how to cope with my anxiety.

I understand that I cannot keep our little bean locked in our house forever. I will have to let her grow up sooner rather than later. I am just overthinking things. My heart will break seeing her cry & cling to me as I drop her off at her future daycare place. I will also feel super embarrassed to see all the other parents glare/stare at me while my child throws a fit as I drop her off; the whole time I will be thinking internally that the other parents are judging me.

My mind is racing even as I am writing this post. The more I think about it, the more my thoughts become illogical. I think I should stop this post here for now. Until the next post, cheers.

Today’s song of the day:

I am no parenting expert, by any means. I am not an expert in any field whatsoever. I tend to do things by trial-&-error, see what works & keep doing that until it doesn’t work any longer. I was like that (in a way) when I was pregnant. I was buying every single pre-natal & post-natal mommy thing that was recommended to me on the internet. Then I was buying all of the things the baby would need during infancy that bedazzled me through targeted ads on Instagram, keeping only the things I needed, & regretting over-buying the things I didn’t actually need but thought it might come in handy during some freakishly rare parenting emergency.

It turned out that I didn’t need half of the things I bought (like the postpartum crotch-recovery kit from FridaBaby because I had a cesarean birth instead of pushing my little bean down the mommy hatch). I bought so much crap stuff that I didn’t actually use or need when my little bean finally arrived. It all felt like such a waste, especially since I didn’t have any friends or family members I could re-gift those unused items to at the time. Plus, I was extremely surprised to find that most donation sites (i.e. Goodwill, Samaritan House, etc.) do not accept baby items like toys, furniture, strollers…to name a few. Luckily for me, I kept all of those unused items & was able to re-gift them to a family member who was expecting not long after I gave birth.

Ever since my little bean turned 2-years old, I have been jotting down all of the essential items I felt I truly needed when I became a new mom, when my little bean was born, all the way up till now (my bean is 2). I periodically go through an inventory of all my little bean’s things, probably once every 4 to 6 months or so, & put aside all of the things little bean doesn’t use, need, or fit anymore into medium-sized storage bags. Then I donate those bags of pre-loved items to any friends or family that may need or want them. Periodically going through all of my little bean’s things got me thinking about making a list of the truly essential items one might need or want if they are having their own little bean. I’ve tried to make a short, concise list here.


We have a night light in our little bean’s nursery that we used when she used to sleep in her own crib/bed. It’s an absolutely bougie Miffy & Friends Silicone Rechargeable Light. Jian had always imagined getting this Miffy rabbit light for our then-future-now-current nursery. This one is seriously bougie considering it is only a night light & doesn’t come with all the bells & whistles for its price point, but at least it’s cordless, has a dimmable light function, & is USB rechargeable (with a long battery life). This night light comes in 3 different sizes: mini, the one we got, & ginormous. Plus, Jian really insisted we get this one, & I’m a fan of Dick Bruna‘s MIFFY cartoons, so I didn’t argue with him.

There are tons of aesthetics, styles, & price points on the market these days. You do you, & choose whichever one fits your family unit best. Sure, night lights keep the little ones from being afraid of the dark, but we all know those night lights are mostly for the parents to check on their kids, & quite frankly, who wants to creep around in the dark only to stub your toe on the corner of a changing table or nursery chair leg? It doesn’t really matter which exact one you choose, as long as it fits its purpose. But who doesn’t like cute decor in the nursery, too?


Cuddle toys &/or security blankets are great to help soothe the little one & assist in their nap time/nighttime routine. They are also great to bring on long car rides or on trips where the little one will be sleeping in a new environment. Some parents also bring these cuddle items to the doctor to help calm the little one down. Don’t make the stupid mistake we did & get your little one something seasonal or limited edition. Well, we didn’t technically make the mistake ourselves. My mom bought our little one an adorable little lovey blanket with a soft fabric butterfly from Target, not realizing that she bought the very last one. Our little bean immediately fell in love with it & has been sleeping with it every single day from then on.

None of us had ever thought about what would happen if it got ruined or, God forbid, lost. As soon as that thought entered my anxiety-ridden mind, I immediately jumped onto the internet to find a backup. Unfortunately for us, that cute butterfly lovey has been discontinued & out of stock E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. The only place I can find a backup in case something unfortunate happens to ours is either on eBay or Poshmark, reselling for triple the price of the original MSRP, & that’s for a USED one, not new/unopened.

So ever since that whole thing happened in our lives, I’ve since gone by a personal mantra of “Don’t buy your kid anything that can’t be easily replaced” because if she falls in love with something then loses it or breaks it, & you have to replace it, finding something that’s seasonal or limited edition is either going to cost you a small fortune, or you’ll be shit outta luck. Therefore, in my case, I trained my little bean to sleep with a couple of “favorite” cuddle toys plus her security blanket. That way, she can interchange between them & not get upset if we have to leave one at home when we go out.

Our little bean’s first love will always be her butterfly lovey toy, but if we go on vacation or go on long trips, she doesn’t mind leaving it at home & can bring a different cuddle toy with her. Then we don’t run the risk of losing something irreplaceable. For us, we have found that Jellycat brand toys are the best. They’re soft, cute, & super portable. They pretty much come in hundreds of colors, themes, sizes & styles. Plus, you can find them EVERYWHERE, so if your little one loses their cuddle toy, you can easily replace it.


Everybody knows what a portable fan is, right? I mean, they’re not some new fangled invention or anything like that. However, the concept of getting a portable fan for my little bean is an entirely new concept that I had never ever heard of until she came into my life. I’m sure stroller fans have been around for ages & ages, but I’ve never heard of their popularity until the more recent years. Besides, I don’t live in an area that gets hot that much throughout the year, even during summer. So a stroller fan, which popped up on my Amazon recommended list, wasn’t something I thought I needed until I went ahead & bought one anyway.

The portable stroller fan has been a great staple in our family travel pack. The three of us often travel to Los Angeles, especially during the hotter months, to visit family (or in Jian’s case, to attend work events), & our fan has gotten a ton of use because of it. We also used it on our what-were-we-thinking road trip to Las Vegas during that historic, record breaking heatwave. On top of that, last year we had an unusual heat wave during our Indian summer season, & that portable fan saved our asses. Keep in mind that we live in a 1950’s built Eichler home with no central A/C, so having portable fans around the house was how we dealt with that freak heat wave last year. I used the portable stroller fan in our little bedroom while my little bean took a nap, & it was surely a life saver.

The best feature of our portable fan is the flexible tripod legs. The flexibility allows it to be positioned practically anywhere on a standard stroller (we previously used the UPPAbaby Vista v2, now we use the GB Pockit+ All-City), so the air won’t directly be positioned at the little one’s face. We even used our fan in the car, attaching it to our infant car seat, so our little bean could get maximum airflow on those super hot days without us having to blast the car’s air conditioning the whole time. The second best feature is its long-lasting battery life. We don’t have to charge it very often between uses, which is great. So all-in-all, we’ve gotten a lot of use out of our portable stroller fan, even when we’re not using the stroller.


What I am about to say will definitely show my age, & the fact that I am more closely related to the Boomer generation rather than the Millennial/Gen-Z generation. I always thought fidget toys were fashion toys for the Gen-Z type, bored kid with idle hands. Teenagers of my nephew & youngest niece’s age were collecting fidget spinners & doing trendy tricks with them on TikTok or something like that. I didn’t really give fidget toys any serious thought until after I had a kid of my own.

Once my little bean was big enough to sit in her own high chair at the restaurants we would take her to, we realized we needed to give her things to occupy her time & attention. Giving her a straw, or a condiment packet to play around with could only sustain her attention for maybe 20 seconds or so, & she very easily gets bored from drawing all over the kids menu. Therefore, our solution was to get our little bean a couple of different fidget toys to play with when we go out.

She has a few different pop-it toys & one fidget cube with a bunch of different textures, buttons & switches on it. We even carry a small sandwich-sized Ziploc bag with some LEGO Duplo bricks for her to play with while we are outside. Those fidget type toys are great to occupy our little bean’s attention, especially when we are eating at a restaurant. We had tried to convince ourselves when I was pregnant, that we wouldn’t be those kinds of parents who shoved an iPhone in front of their kids to occupy their attention. However, I will admit that we have resorted to using our phones to calm our little bean’s restlessness, more than a few times, while we are trying to enjoy a meal out. We mostly try to mix things up & give our little bean a variety of things to play with when we go out. These fidget toys seem to be doing the trick for now.


I never knew these nifty little things existed until I was shopping for baby essentials on Amazon & it was recommended to me on my homepage. I have seen all sorts of children’s toothbrushes & toothpastes at the store, but I have never really heard of infant toothbrushes, mainly because I always thought of babies not having any teeth, so why would they need a toothbrush. Little did I know that silicone finger brushes are a great tool for parents with teething babies.

I guess I am old fashioned, or just stuck in remembering the way things were done when I was a kid. I thought if a baby was teething, you give them a teething toy or something cold like a wet washcloth you put in the fridge freezer to chew on. When I actually looked into what finger toothbrushes were, & what their benefits are, I bought one straight away. A silicone finger brush, also known as baby’s first “toothbrush”, is great for soothing those sore & achy gums, but it also instills good teeth brushing habits from the start, & helps the baby get used to feeling something toothbrush-like for the first time.

I started using the silicone finger brush as soon as my little bean started teething, & it really helped to soothe the soreness & the dull ache in her gums, which helped her sleep better throughout the night, instead of having to wake up every few hours to rub teething gel medication on the gums. Our little bean was also kind of a strange infant. She didn’t like chewing on the traditional teething toys or icy wet washcloths. She liked gnawing on non-traditional baby items like plastic straws & plastic spoons. Using the finger brush to massage our little bean’s gums really allowed us to cut down on our (non-medicated) teething gel dependency, & it helped soothe our little bean’s sensitive gums before bedtime. This also allowed us to smoothly transition to an actual children’s toothbrush when she got older. The little one did not fuss or refuse when we started teaching her to brush her own teeth.


Let me tell you something serious. Like, for real. How could I have not known about the Febreze Small Spaces Air Freshener? This is an absolute game changer. For all the existing parents out there, you already know where I’m headed…when your little one mic-drops a deuce bomb. I never thought about becoming nose blind to diaper odors, but it happens. Luckily there’s this little air freshener to keep the nursery from smelling like a Coachella Port-A-Potty. I tip my cap to any parent who is able to consistently & effortlessly keep their baby nursery smelling fresh as daisies.

We use a diaper pail with a baking soda disc that’s supposed to minimize diaper odors (it doesn’t). I had originally thought it would be discreet yet on-trend with our room decor if I put a cute aroma diffuser in the nursery; it didn’t work. It only made the room smell like perfume mixed with a hint of ammonia. Next, I tried placing a strong lavender scented drawer deodorizer packets at the bottom of the diaper pail, but that didn’t combat the funk either. Then I discovered this tiny little air freshener, & I tossed all the other things I tried in to the trash.

From the moment I discovered this little air freshener, I have not stopped buying them. These little suckers are so good at stamping out even the most explosive diaper smell. How I use them is to keep one on the diaper changing table, next to all the diapering supplies. If the diaper was particularly gross, then I’ll place the air freshener on top of the diaper pail for a few minutes to really reduce the odor. It really works well to greatly reduce the smell of the deuce. I even keep one in Jian’s home office…because farts happen. *Gross*.


Let me start this section with a little story time blurb. One time when my nephew was a toddler, we all went out for lunch in a large family group setting (including my sister, her then-now-ex-husband, my brother, my parents, my niece, myself, & Jian). My sister wanted to go shopping after lunch to get her kids some new shoes. Lo & behold, my nephew laid a huge crapper in his diaper while we were in the kids shoe store. He bombed his diaper so hard that it got all over his shorts. My sister didn’t have anything else for my nephew to wear, so she had to go to another store to buy him new clothes. She said it wasn’t worth it to bring the shorts home to wash, & ended up throwing them away. After that incident, I swore that I wouldn’t be that underprepared if/when I had my own child.

So, my takeaway from that story is to ALWAYS BE PREPARED, even if it means your diaper bag &/or car trunk looks like you are doomsday prepping for the end of the world. That is why I highly recommend having a spare change of baby clothes on hand at all times. I keep a Ziplock bag of spare clothes in my little bean’s diaper bag at all times. It contains just the essentials: one long-sleeve onesie, one pair of leggings, & one pair of socks. I also keep a spare jacket (one for each of us three) in the trunk of my car, since my car is mainly used as the “people mover” family car.

This spare change of clothes has come in handy on more than one occasion already. On our first group outing with our friends & their infant children to a children’s museum, our little bean had a cry session so intense that she threw up all over herself. She threw up so hard that she made the pie-eating contest scene from the Stand By Me movie look tame. The puke came out so fast & hard that not even my quick mommy reflexes could deflect the splash back. Little bean was covered in puke, & I was covered in puke. It was an experience I never would wish on any parent. Luckily we had a spare change of clothes for our little bean in her bag, but I had to rush back home covered in spoiled milk & baby food from head to toe. Needless to say, after that incident, I put a spare t-shirt in my car for each of us parents as well. Keep this tip in mind future parents~!


  • When getting a portable changing mat/pad, don’t get one that has a ton of pockets/compartments or folds out a hundred & one different ways. When you have to fold it back up & put it away, it’ll end up taking up more than half the precious space in the diaper bag. A simple, thin changing pad that folds up small will do. I have a changing mat from Herschel Supply, & even though it only has 2 pockets (one for extra diapers, & one for the wipes), it’s super bulky & takes up most of the space in my already jumbo diaper bag. You don’t need all those pockets for the little things. You only need enough space for a couple of extra diapers, a tube of rash cream, & a packet of wipes. Your kid won’t notice/care if the padding is plush or as thin as hotel toilet paper.
  • This is totally not necessary, but it is a bonus, if you have a sound machine or a go-to music playlist for nap time. In my experience, having a specific music playlist that I use for my little bean’s naps has really improved the quality of her naps. I put the music on before she enters her room, so I don’t have to waste extra time setting everything up before I put her down for a nap. Also, she’ll already hear the sound before she fully falls asleep, so it won’t be an instant jolt of noise while she’s trying to sleep. The music helps my little bean feel like she’s not alone in her room, & also diffuses any outside noises (i.e. washer/dryer, vacuum, etc.). I will turn off any sound machine/music a couple of minutes before the end of her nap, to help her slowly wake up instead of me barging into her room & banging around to get her up.


Well, that’s all I would say about that. I am in NO WAY pushing any of these items on any parent. This list is merely a suggestion. It’s purely based off of my experiences. Take it or leave it. The only thing that I would say is pretty much set in stone is the spare change of emergency clothes. Having a spare change of clothes (or a spare jacket in the car) is non-negotiable for any & all parents. If you’re an existing parent, then you know all about the “exploding backpack“. That’s why I’m advocating so hard for the spare clothes. *Chuckle*

Anyhow, that’s all I’ve got to say. Sorry I’ve been absent for so many months. Between the little bean, Jian, & myself, we’ve each been sick on & off between January & February. Plus, my mom had a big seventy-something birthday celebration in February, & we had to attend my oldest niece’s wedding in Las Vegas last month (March). My life schedule has been absolutely packed, & I haven’t really had much time to properly sit down & write. Yes, I’ve been on Instagram, but it’s much faster to write a couple of hashtags than it is to write an entire blog post. Until the next one, & I hope it won’t be too long until then, cheers!

Today’s song of the day:

So, if you’re a mommy blogger, or baby expert, or child behavior expert, or any other developmental specialist, please do not come for me. My little bean was born 2+ years ago, & I have barely “baby-proofed” my house. Of course (I mean, obviously…) the basic guidelines are in place. For example, prescription medications are on the highest shelf of a hard-to-reach cabinet, sharp objects are mostly out of reach of fast toddler hands, etcetera. However, I haven’t quite done ALL of the baby-proofing that parenting books & other guides tell you to do.

My house looks pretty much exactly the same as it did pre-child; still got tons of my mom’s meaningless crap random knickknacks strewn all over the place. We still have a lot of fragile decor displayed everywhere. I haven’t put any stick-on safety bumpers on any hard furniture corners. I also haven’t put up any baby gates (luckily, I live in a single level home with no indoor stairs) or safety latches on any cabinets or drawers. The most “baby-proofing” I’ve done so far is put a top-of-the-line (most popular on the market) baby monitor over my child’s crib-now-a-toddler-bed & plastic safety covers on the wall outlets/sockets.

I know that I still have time to “child-proof” my house, but whenever I look for things to make my house safer for my kid, I either end up getting the wrong product (wrong size, wrong fit), or Jian has some long-winded debate about its non-practicality & waste of money, & then there’s my mom chirping in the background that she doesn’t want our house to get overrun by too many children’s things. She also likes to argue that she won’t know how to use any of that stuff (like the safety latches on cabinets) & it’s all too complicated, so we might as well not incumber her life with all these newfangled (stupid, as she calls it) gadgets, therefore why bother? Besides, in her words, we never had these kinds of baby-proofing things when we were growing up in the 80s & 90s & we still turned out okay. I guess there will always be an excuse to justify not baby-proofing the house, which is mostly us parents being lazy & also giving in to grandma’s reasons for keeping things the way they are.

So far, we’ve had success in our child not harming herself in any way. We are extremely lucky to be in a position where one adult or another is able to keep an eye on her at all times. Jian works from home 4 out of 5 days per week, & my mom lives with us, so there is always a pair of adult eyes on our little bean. Right now our little bean is in her explorative phase, & like every other child she wants to go through all the drawers & cabinets. We have been lucky, so far, that when we tell her to put something down or to not touch something, she will do as we say, but we also follow up with a brief explanation as to why we gave her such a command. We try to explain…I guess you could call it child-splaining…to our little bean what things are & why they are not meant for her to touch or play with. We use simple terms, & talk to her in a calm, clear voice.

For me especially, I try not to use the phrase “because I said so” or other blanket phrases because that doesn’t really let her know that she’s not supposed to touch or play with the thing(s) you don’t want her to grab. I take the time to show her the item (just out of her reach, of course) & explain to my little bean what it is & why it’s not meant to be touched by little hands or played with…things like scissors, chopsticks, tools, etcetera. The little bean still gets to look at the item she’s so laser focused on, but then she also learns what it’s meant for & learns that it’s not a toy. So far this method has worked for our little family unit. Our little bean walks by the laundry closet full of spray bottles & detergent pods, but she has never once opened the sliding closet door & grabbed anything she wasn’t supposed to. I’ve shown her the closet a few times & explained that we keep soaps in there to wash clothes, & she hasn’t ever given it a second thought to grab anything.

One major thing that I was very concerned about when our little bean became more mobile was our fireplace. Everyone in our little household has been teaching our little bean about what is hot/cold & to not touch hot things (like coffee cups & the stove), but our little bean likes to play near the fireplace, especially on cold days. We live in an area where we regularly have to turn on our gas-powered fireplace on full blast during the winter season, & I’m the forever-worrier. So, I bought a good fireplace screen. It keeps a nice little barrier between our bean & the fire & teaches her about boundaries. So far it has worked, & has kept our little bean from getting too close to the heat. This was one of the best baby-proofing investments I’ve made.

Of course, all of this teaching our little bean about what are grown-up things & what are kids toys could easily fly right out the window, & she could end up trashing the entire house one day, but for now, I will continue to educate my child on what things she can & cannot touch. You know, I still have recurring thoughts about “baby-proofing” my house. I go back-&-forth in my own head about what items I can still buy to keep my child safe at home. I think about these things, & I become very indecisive about which things are still worth getting, or I think about Jian complaining about me spending too much money again…even though I am buying things for our child & not frivolous things for myself. For now, I suppose we are okay with not really baby-proofing our house. We live in a single-level Eichler home built in the 1960s. The house is very sturdy & already child-friendly. We should be fine…I guess. We’ll see. Until the next post, cheers.

Today’s song of the day:


June 2023

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