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For the past couple of weeks, the weather in my area has been so beautiful during the daytime, but super chilly in the evenings. I am really, really, really enjoying this kind of weather (warm in the day, cold at night). One of my favorite aspects of this weather is when I get to step into a relaxing, hot shower while it’s icy cold outside. Then, while I’m in the shower, I take that alone time to let all of my innermost thoughts flow out of my mind. It feels like a therapeutic release, letting all of my bottled up thoughts of that day just flow out.

Sometimes I get really deep into my thoughts, talking to myself internally about family drama or about personal doubts. Other times I’ll just talk out loud to myself, ranting about unimportant things, like some moronic thing I heard a vapid, air head say on a dumb reality TV show. Last night, while taking a late night shower, I had some really random thoughts swirling around in my mind.


There are times when I’ll share the bathroom with Jian, & we’ll both catch each other humming or singing a song one of us will recognize. One of us will just jump right in & sing right along with the other person. Usually I’m the one who catches him singing or humming a song in the shower, & I’ll often times recognize the song, sneak into the bathroom as quietly as I possibly can, & then surprise him by loudly singing along with him. There are other times when Jian will catch me off guard & try to sing along with me, which causes us to break in to a fit of laughter.

Let me just include a tiny little disclaimer here by saying: neither Jian nor I have great singing capabilities. We are not the best singers. We’re not going to audition for American Idol at any time in our lives. Not gonna happen, ever. However, we do enjoy singing with our friends at karaoke bars, & I’d say we’re pretty decent at it. I mean, at least we can carry a tune, & neither of us are tone deaf…so I think either one of us singing in the shower is not a crime.

I, myself, love singing along to my favorite songs. I’ve always got my Spotify playlists playing when I’m working at my computer station at home, & I’m always singing along to all of the songs on my playlists. I also sing along to the radio whenever I’m driving in my car. Although I won’t really sing along to the car radio if I’ve got other passengers in my car other than Jian. I’ve also sung open mic karaoke at multiple dive bars…sober. However, usually my friends & I like to sing at private room karaoke lounges (’cause we get the mic all to ourselves & get to pick our own songs). Perhaps all that singing in the shower has prepared me for karaoke. LOL!


I sometimes complain to Jian about this, but I really don’t enjoy the “perks” of being a woman, especially a woman who takes care in keeping up a presentable, decent appearance. I will lament to Jian that I sometimes wish I could be more like a man. Then I wouldn’t have to spend a frivolous amount of time in the shower shaving body parts, using fancy smelling soaps & shampoos, & doing all of this frou-frou stuff to make my hair soft, shiny & pretty. On top of that, once I step out of the shower, I have to rub special lotion all over my body, apply all kinds of creams & anti-wrinkle & anti-blemish, blah, blah, blah on my face.

For guys, all they have to do is use a generic soap & shampoo, scrub up, rinse off, & towel themselves dry. That’s basically all there is to it for a no-frills kind of guy like Jian. Well, I will admit that I got Jian to use a facial moisturizer to hydrate his super dry, flaky skin, but that’s pretty much the only extra step he has in his nightly shower routine. I on the other hand, have 20 more steps to take before I can throw on my pj’s & climb into bed. Ugh! Why can’t I just have a three-step nightly routine, like Jian…a dude? It’s annoying sometimes.


My final thought blurb is about that time right when you finish washing & you turn off your shower. Yes, that does sound weirdly specific…but I swear this is going somewhere. As I had mentioned earlier on in this meaningless blog post, it’s been super cold at night where I live, & there’s nothing better on a cold night than taking a hot shower…or bath. (I’m an equal opportunity bather.) However, the one part I absolutely loath the most about showering is those five to ten seconds right after you turn off that glorious, hot water & reach out to grab your towel.

No matter what you do, you will feel that initial gust of cold wind hit your body, & it’s just “bad news bears” all around. It feels like you’ve just jumped in to the deepest waters of Antarctica, naked. Sometimes I’ll try to just poke my hand around a small sliver opening in my shower curtain, & try to stealthily pull my towel in to avoid letting the hot steam escape, but I always end up letting in a frosty gust of wind into my hot, steamy cocoon. It annoys the hell out of me. I was actually thinking this yesterday as I was just about to finish my shower. I kept saying to myself that I wish I could just stand under the hot water for ten more minutes before I have to MacGuyver my towel into my steamy shower cocoon behind my shower curtain. I nearly froze my nips off trying to pull my fluffy towel behind the curtain, but I managed to not freeze my body too much.

The struggle is real, folks. A real steamy struggle. I am so sorry for this stupid post about taking showers. I wish I had more engaging content to write about this week, but my brain is on strike. Until next time, cheers & stay soapy friends…

Today’s song of the day:

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I just had a very random thought sometime last night while I was getting ready to take a bath. I was thinking about Jian & how accepting & tolerating he is regarding my obsession with drag queens. Yes, you read that correctly. I am talking about drag queens, professional cross-dressers who do uncomfortable things to hide their male anatomy for the sake of looking more feminine than the average female.

When I first met Jian, I never told him about my intense fascination with drag queens. Then as our relationship progressed into a more “let it all hang out” comfortable stage, I let him in on my fascination with drag queens. He couldn’t understand it at first. He thought my interest in drag queens was weird & dumb, but then one night in our apartment, he caught me watching the TV show Ru Paul’s Drag Race. For the first five minutes or so of the show Jian thought it was stupid, but as I kept up with the weekly episodes, Jian got more & more invested in watching the show as well. He would ask me questions about the drag queens, like what their names were & if I have heard of any of them before the show. Then, he got really into watching the show with me to see who the winner of that season would be (it was Sharon Needles, by the way). That was the major turning point where I knew Jian was more accepting of my intense interest in the drag queen culture.

I don’t even know how I ever learned about drag queens in the first place, but since I live so close to San Francisco, I guess I was bound to stumble upon these glorious peoples in one way or another. I saw drag queen comedians on television, but I never really understood that culture or what kind of impression it would leave on my life. I remember one time in high school when I traveled to San Francisco on the weekend with my friends & we were hanging out around the Haight-Ashbury district. I walked into a gift shop selling a bunch of random knick knacks & novelty souvenirs, & I happened to be browsing their rotating postcards rack when I noticed one funny postcard with two drag queens right on the front. From that point on I was hooked. Seeing that postcard photo of two men, with scruffy facial hair & a full face of makeup, wearing  over-the-top wigs & womens clothes…it really spoke to me. It grabbed my attention so hard & shook me to the core.

Ever since then, I’ve just been so drawn to the crazy, glitzy, fast-paced, foul-mouthed world of drag queens. A part of my obsession with drag queens stems from jealousy. Yes, I am jealous of drag queens. Not that I wish to be a man wearing womens clothes, but I often fill myself with self-doubt, & critique my body build/shape. I look at myself in the mirror sometimes & feel like I have a non-descript, semi-tomboy body shape. Ok, that’s a kind of an exaggeration, but I do feel like I’m neither tomboy-ish, nor am I girly/feminine. Then I look at drag queens, dudes who wear womens clothes & impossibly high-heeled uncomfortable shoes, & I think to myself: “Damn, that dude looks more feminine in a dress than I do.” Well, a lot of drag queens look more feminine than a lot of actual women on this planet, so… it’s not uncommon.

I love drag queens. I love their over-exaggerated personalities, their costumes & fashion, their ability to wear uncomfortable womens pumps, their quick-witted humor, & their potty mouths that would make a salty sailor blush. Everything about the drag queen culture is fast-paced & extreme glitter. Although, I’m not sure I’d be into wearing 15 pounds of thicc makeup. I’m not a makeup wearing person. ((I’m a skincare kind of gal, so I don’t have to wear makeup on a daily basis.)

Every time we come across a drag queen on TV or on a billboard advert, Jian will point that entertainer out to me with excitement. He will ask me whether I know that particular entertainer or not, & we have a fun time talking about it. I feel kind of bad though that I haven’t been keeping up with the newer seasons of Ru Paul’s TV competition show, but I still keep up with all of the drama on social media as I do follow one of my favorite ‘queens’ on Instagram & YouTube. I would one day love to see a drag queen performance live, but Jian isn’t at that point where he feels comfortable enough to go with me to watch a live show. He is making progress though, like now he likes to use the popular drag phrase “yaaasss kween”, & that is just about all I have to say on this so-called thought barf. I’m heading to Los Angeles this weekend to celebrate my female cousin’s birthday. I can’t believe she’s turning the big 4-0hhhhhh. I’m glad the weather is not going to be warm this weekend. Until next time, cheers!

Today’s song of the day:

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I recently re-watched one of my favorite Wes Anderson movies, Moonrise Kingdom, which prompted me to dive down a deep, dark hole of image searches on the internet. During my frivolous search of hipster GIFs & Tumblr posts, I stumbled upon an old website posting that dissects the various meanings, interpretations, innuendos, & subtle nods behind Wes AndersonRoman Coppola‘s popular film. After reading that old post, I started thinking about my own interpretations of this film.

I have seen this movie countless times, & each time I watch this movie, it makes me think of the storyline in a weird way. Over time, I have gathered some rather strange thoughts regarding this movie, but it still has not deterred me from watching it again. Here, I will try to gather all of my crazy thoughts in the movie’s chronological order…


SAM SHAKUSKY’S GRAPHIC WATERCOLOR PORTRAITS

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Just like Bill Murray‘s character Walt Bishop asks, I also ask the same question: “What the hell am I looking at?!” No, seriously. Why is a 12-year old boy painting nude portraits of a girl/woman getting into a bath tub??? Also, just like Walt Bishop, I also wonder if Suzy sat for this portrait. (Probably not, but it looks suspiciously realistic to her image.) I love Sam‘s watercolor paintings of landscapes & city buildings, but What-The-Face is he doing sending Suzy a portrait of a bathing naked lady?! That’s both sweet & weird.


SUZY BISHOP’S CAT

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GIF not accurate to the timeline of the movie, but it was the best MK cat image I could find.

What’s up with Suzy‘s cat? I mean, why’d she have to bring along her cat when she’s trying to run away from home…& then she only brought one box worth of kitten chow tins? That’s not going to sustain the cat for any period of time. Plus, the cat’s going to slow those kids down with all of its extra weight (& baggage). This cat serves no purpose on this adventure. Not to mention, the cat totally gave away the whereabouts of the runaway kids with its discarded kitten chow tin.


THE SCOUT & HIS CANOE

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How does a 12-year old kid steal a miniature canoe & load it up with some fishing tackle, 10 pounds of sundries, 2 bedrolls, & an air rifle all by himself in the middle of a full boy scout camp at night, without being detected? I’ll admit the kid’s got real determination to run away with the love of his life. Let me tell you… I was in a girl scout troop for 3 years, & we never accomplished nearly as much outdoor achievements as field mate Sam Shakusky. This kid has some cajones to quit his troop, & serious skills to sneak off with a boat load of camping supplies. (No pun intended.)

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KIDS WITH GUNS (NOT LITERALLY)

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Look at these deadly scouts with homemade weapons! Isn’t that a tad bit excessive just to recover an escaped scout member? I mean, who says “If we find him, I’m not going to be the one who forgot to bring a weapon?”? Sam is harmless. He’s only carrying a pellet gun fer chrissake! The worst he could do would be to shoot his eye out (right, Ralphie?). Why are the other kids bringing hatchets, hunting knives, hammers, & a crudely made mace? Also, what kind of scout master allows 12-year old boys to randomly carry such sharp & dangerous objects? (Aren’t these kids still supposed to be using safety scissors? Haha!)


THE KIDS AREN’T ALRIGHT

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Why are these young (unsupervised) kids playing a game of chicken, with real weapons no less, in the field of a deserted forest? This is the kind of stand-off that could rival any John Wayne shoot-em-up cowboy western. Then again, things get even more intense when all of the “Lord of The Flies-y” boys decend in mad chaos toward the young lovers on the hill. The stand-off comes to a head & there are a few unfortunate casualties. Please be warned that things get graphic & gorey at this point. It has been reported by multiple sources that when this movie was released, many movie goers got really uncomfortable by the next occuring events. For one, a dog gets shot in the neck by a stray arrow & dies. Then, one of the scouts gets stabbed in the lower back with a pair of lefty scissors. Although those scenes in a PG-13 rated movie are horrific in their own right, that’s not what got audience members cringing in their seats. No. It was the graphic scene when Sam, looming over the poor scout dog Snoopy, unceremoniously pulls & removes the very bloody arrow from the dog’s neck. If you ask me, that’s kind of being too specific in detail for a PG-13 rated movie.


TIDAL INLETS ARE THE NEW MAKE-OUT SPOTS

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Does nobody care, or even notice, that these barely pubescent, adolescent teens are running around on a secluded beach in their underwear? Well, it’s not the Blue Lagoon, & Brooke Shields isn’t lying on the beach with her hair not-so-subtly covering her tits, but still. It’s super weird that these tweens are hanging out in their underwear with absolutely zero eff’s given. That’s not all…

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Sam makes Suzy a pair of earrings using sharp fish hooks & some fishing tackle. Then he proceeds to pierce her ear without even disinfecting/cleaning the hooks. That sounds like a recipe for an infection if you ask me. Then…

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Suzy has visions of grandeur…believing that kids with no parents lead more interesting lives. Sam immediately sets her straight about the lonliness of not having any familial structure. They may be adolescent youths, but they sure get real deep & somewhat philosophical when they chat. They even profess their love for each other.

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SAM & SUZY SITTING IN A TREE…K-I-S-S-I-N-G…

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When I was 12, I had barely gotten out of the “boys have cooties” phase. I was just starting to learn about kissing on the lips & holding hands. I had no real experience with kissing boys. Yet here these two love birds are, discussing the ins-&-outs of French kissing! (No pun intended, again.) According to Suzy, the tongues touch each other. These kids are becoming way too mature at such a young age, & they are weirdly too good at first-time French kissing. But wait, there’s more!

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Sam pulls Suzy closer while they’re slow dancing on the beach, but lo & behold…Sam’s got a boner. Wait, this IS supposed to be a PG-13 rated movie, right? So, why are we talking about pre-teen boners? Well, naturally that’s what happens when you’re going through puberty & you’re in love. But, does she mind? No. She likes it. (Ew, gross.) Don’t worry though, this isn’t a one-sided deal here. Sam gets to cop a feel too. (Double gross.)

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NIGHTY, NIGHTIE

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The young lovers are asleep in their cozy bed chamber, wearing nothing but the skivvies they they danced in the day before, only to be awoken by very concerned parents, scout troop, & lone police captain. Here comes dear ol’ dad, ripping the tent right off like a nasty band-aid.

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And so, we’ve reached the end. The two little love birds have tied the knot. (Not legally) All is right in the world, except for the biggest storm New Pensance has ever encountered, along with severe lightning strikes, & some harrowing rescues atop a church tower. Yet, after all that excitement, like all other Wes Anderson movies, this too must come to a happy ending.

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Today’s song of the day:

 

 

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