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What the fuck is wrong with me? I keep telling myself over & over & over again that I should quit watching all those mind-numbing, life-draining, dumb reality TV shows on the Bravo network. I probably tell myself this at least 3 to 4 times per day. As I am scrolling through the endless list of channels & programming, I always end up at the Bravo network, at first thinking I’ll leave a show on making mindless background noise while I am doing other things, then ending up completely engrossed in the episode, being hooked on the entire season of the show.
I don’t want to be hooked on all of these random reality shows, but Bravo has a way of grabbing me with their talons & not letting go. I can’t even begin to understand how or why I get so hooked on a show that I will end up watching the entire season, so laser focused on all the details of all the puffed-up, phony drama & “family” in-fighting.
I wish I could quit, just like an ex-smoker to cigarettes. I don’t even remotely relate to, or like any of the cast members of these shows. It kills me a little more each time I turn on my TV knowing I’ll end up watching one of their shows, which will only increase their ratings & boost their popularity, which will keep them on air for far longer than they should be.
I hate the fact that I watch almost all of the Real Housewives franchises. I also dabble in a few of the Below Deck franchises from time to time. I also am extremely mad at myself for knowing who Lisa Vanderpimp is & all of her oversexed restaurant staff. And, yes, I have been keeping up with all of the Kyle-Amanda-West romance fallout from Summer House. Ugh 😩
Please, I need help to kick this bad habit of defaulting to stupid reality shows when I can’t find anything new to watch. I want to forget all of these people’s names & faces, & all of their shitty drama. I should get my drama fix by watching real & actual drama unfold on the nightly national news. These reality shows do not add any value to my life, & what really sucks is I’m probably not going to stop watching, & I have nobody in my life I can talk to about it. 😔
Until the next episode, cheers.
Song of the day:
Apart from just my age & my personal interests, I feel old fashioned in general. Yes, I love movies, music, automobiles, & fashion all from an era way before I was even born. Yes, I am older than nearly all of my friends & significant others (but, I’m not that old yet). And yes, I tend to get on well with the “Boomer” generation better than my own generation. So yes, I feel quite old fashioned compared to my generation of peers & anyone else considered as a “millennial”. However, in this blog post, I will be talking about my habits.
I guess to clarify, I am not referring to my everyday habits (like how I brush my teeth, or anything like that). I am referring to my habits as in etiquette & manners, you know, things like saying ‘excuse me’ when you walk to go around a person, or saying ‘hello’ when you pass by a person when you go for a walk. I do those such things. I politely acknowledge a person whenever I drive up or down past them on my residential street. I say ‘excuse/pardon me’ when I have to pass a person in a tight space or if I have to rush past them. I will also raise my hand &/or wave in acknowledgement when a driver stops to allow me to cross the street. I even verbally acknowledge the waitstaff at a food establishment, or even when someone holds a door open for me. In those cases, I try to annunciate my acknowledging thanks in a clear & semi-loud voice so that that particular person knows that I am addressing them directly.
Ok, yes. I understand that these are standard mannerisms & etiquette procedures, but I kind of, sort of, feel like these behaviors & habits aren’t being practiced or encouraged very much these days. When I practice one of these habits out of courtesy, I feel like I am doing something old fashioned, something that only my parents’ generation does. I see less & less of my generation practicing courteous etiquette & manners, & I rarely (if not, then never) see this etiquette in the next generation. All I see around me is this kind of “don’t bother me/don’t invade my personal bubble” attitude. Everyone’s got their earbuds/headphones glued to their ears as though they do not want to be bothered. (And then I realize that I’m wearing my wireless earbuds as I am typing this.)
I wish I didn’t feel this way so much. I also wish that I didn’t focus so much on noticing how others behave &/or don’t behave. It is not my place to police, judge, or critique other people’s manners. It’s just that a lot of the time, when I am trying to be polite & courteous, I am often ignored. I am not expecting every single person to acknowledge me every time I make a gesture, but once in a while it would be nice to be acknowledged in return. Good manners & common courtesy should always be both practiced & acknowledged. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Boomer, Gen-Xer, Gen-Yer, Millennial, or from another planet in another galaxy. I will always acknowledge a person who approaches me with manners & courtesy… Never avert my eyes or pretend that I didn’t see anything. Call me square. Call me old fashioned. But me an Old Fashioned at the bar. I will continue to spread good manners & common courtesy whether it is noticed or not. Until next time, cheers (if it so pleases you).
Today’s song of the day:
I don’t mean to start this blog post off with drama, but the family “tea” just got turnt up to scalding hot, basically. Ugh! Why can’t our tea cups be empty for once?! Well anyway, I’m not going to get into specifics (as I usually say), but I will hint that a psychiatric evaluation is in order. Ok, maybe not that severe, but perhaps more like a psychological evaluation instead. That’s all I’m going to address on that topic.
So, it’s a new year & a whole new decade. I don’t have any elaborate resolutions in the new year. I only have one resolution, & that is to be more mindful of the things I say. More specifically that means that I want to continue to learn how to be less impulsive & careless in my abrupt/hasty reactions to situations, especially with the things I say. I want to incorporate more patience in my continuance to learn as well.
Often times, when a heated situation arises, & I open my spontaneous mouth to speak, I think I am being quick-witted, snarky, or justifiably defensive &/or reprimanding. However, I have come to learn that every time in those instances, I come off as offensive, ignorant of the “bigger picture”, naïve, narrow-minded, & a few times arrogant &/or judgmental. I often times end up with a proverbial foot in my mouth (sometimes two feet). My wayward lips just can’t seem to stop flapping about when it would be more wise to remain quiet, which is my roundabout way of saying I don’t know when to shut up.
Let me give you an example or two just for context. In the first instance, whenever I get into an argument or debate with Jian, I always get rightfully put in my place. I will say the first things on my mind impulsively without thinking through whether or not my statements are relevant or helpful to my argument. Jian will step in to correct my statements, or try to steer the conversation back on track, but I will only bolster my stubbornness & dig my heels in further to back up my abrupt comments. I don’t think my thoughts through. I just throw out a bunch of words hoping they will stick to something. My arguing style is very haphazard & careless, which is why I can never fully win an argument with Jian.
In the second instance, I become extremely reactionary when it comes to specific people in my life with whom I have a highly strained relationship. Oh, man. I am not exaggerating when I say I have a highly strained relationship with this person, not even a little bit. Whenever we get together with this person, the whole room fills with uncomfortable tension. As soon as the conversation starts, I can already feel my impulsive reactions bubbling to the surface waiting to explode. I have a difficult time stopping myself from shouting “You’re wrong! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” or something a little more colorful & off-hand.
I got my first taste of learning in the moment on how to bite my tongue when I don’t need to insert myself into a conversation during this past Christmas holiday. That specific person came home for the holidays & things had already been strained from previous incidents, yet this past Christmas break was especially awkward. There were more than a few times when I wanted to jump up onto the kitchen table & shout at this person directly to their face. However, I truly tried to enact actual change in my behavior by chanting to myself softly under my breath, “Do not react. Do not engage.”
You see, I really do want to succeed in this resolution. I understand that running my mouth doesn’t solve or do anything. I end up right where I started, at square one with nothing to show for it but with a whole lotta proverbial egg on my face & metaphorical feet in my mouth. I do have patience, as in I have patience in doing menial & repetitive tasks, but I understand that I have to channel that patience towards more useful aspects of my life…like when it comes to talking with others. This past Christmas holiday really, truly, taught me so much on how to approach my resolution for the new year. I am excited to see how far I will have come in my mental maturity. Until the next post, cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
Rabbits & Foxes 
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