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I don’t mean to start this blog post off with drama, but the family “tea” just got turnt up to scalding hot, basically. Ugh! Why can’t our tea cups be empty for once?! Well anyway, I’m not going to get into specifics (as I usually say), but I will hint that a psychiatric evaluation is in order. Ok, maybe not that severe, but perhaps more like a psychological evaluation instead. That’s all I’m going to address on that topic.
So, it’s a new year & a whole new decade. I don’t have any elaborate resolutions in the new year. I only have one resolution, & that is to be more mindful of the things I say. More specifically that means that I want to continue to learn how to be less impulsive & careless in my abrupt/hasty reactions to situations, especially with the things I say. I want to incorporate more patience in my continuance to learn as well.
Often times, when a heated situation arises, & I open my spontaneous mouth to speak, I think I am being quick-witted, snarky, or justifiably defensive &/or reprimanding. However, I have come to learn that every time in those instances, I come off as offensive, ignorant of the “bigger picture”, naïve, narrow-minded, & a few times arrogant &/or judgmental. I often times end up with a proverbial foot in my mouth (sometimes two feet). My wayward lips just can’t seem to stop flapping about when it would be more wise to remain quiet, which is my roundabout way of saying I don’t know when to shut up.
Let me give you an example or two just for context. In the first instance, whenever I get into an argument or debate with Jian, I always get rightfully put in my place. I will say the first things on my mind impulsively without thinking through whether or not my statements are relevant or helpful to my argument. Jian will step in to correct my statements, or try to steer the conversation back on track, but I will only bolster my stubbornness & dig my heels in further to back up my abrupt comments. I don’t think my thoughts through. I just throw out a bunch of words hoping they will stick to something. My arguing style is very haphazard & careless, which is why I can never fully win an argument with Jian.
In the second instance, I become extremely reactionary when it comes to specific people in my life with whom I have a highly strained relationship. Oh, man. I am not exaggerating when I say I have a highly strained relationship with this person, not even a little bit. Whenever we get together with this person, the whole room fills with uncomfortable tension. As soon as the conversation starts, I can already feel my impulsive reactions bubbling to the surface waiting to explode. I have a difficult time stopping myself from shouting “You’re wrong! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” or something a little more colorful & off-hand.
I got my first taste of learning in the moment on how to bite my tongue when I don’t need to insert myself into a conversation during this past Christmas holiday. That specific person came home for the holidays & things had already been strained from previous incidents, yet this past Christmas break was especially awkward. There were more than a few times when I wanted to jump up onto the kitchen table & shout at this person directly to their face. However, I truly tried to enact actual change in my behavior by chanting to myself softly under my breath, “Do not react. Do not engage.”
You see, I really do want to succeed in this resolution. I understand that running my mouth doesn’t solve or do anything. I end up right where I started, at square one with nothing to show for it but with a whole lotta proverbial egg on my face & metaphorical feet in my mouth. I do have patience, as in I have patience in doing menial & repetitive tasks, but I understand that I have to channel that patience towards more useful aspects of my life…like when it comes to talking with others. This past Christmas holiday really, truly, taught me so much on how to approach my resolution for the new year. I am excited to see how far I will have come in my mental maturity. Until the next post, cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
This year’s summer season has really been giving me positive vibes & putting me in such a happy mood. I am sooo glad that I don’t live in Southern California (ahem, like the rest of my relatives…) where it’s a minimum of 80℉/26℃ every day in the summertime. I love living in Northern California (practically next door to San Francisco), where the weather could be sweltering hot one day, then cool & cloudy the next day, which is pretty much what the weather has been like these past few weeks in the city where I live. I love it.
My town has experienced a couple of major heat wave days since this summer season has begun, but we’ve also experienced quite a bit of cooler days as well, & I am totally here for it, ma’maw! (Sorry for the weird pop-culture slang. I’ve been hanging around Drag Queens this past weekend, & their crazy slang terms have been sneaking their way into my everyday vocabulary.) For example, yesterday it was so hot I had to run the air conditioning at full blast in my car, but today it was super cloudy, & it actually rained a little in the morning…well, it was barely a sprinkle, but enough to wet my driveway.
That’s one reason why I love living in my current city. I love the balance of hot days, warm days, & chilly days. Sometimes it can be annoying when it’s hot in the daytime but cold at night. That’s the typical summer weather in my town. It’ll be hot enough during the day that you’ll want to put on a pair of shorts & a cute airy top, but then the temperature suddenly drops & you’ll have to switch to jeans & a warm sweater. Though, I don’t mind that at all.
Today’s sudden wet-ish weather was a pleasant surprise. I was happy that the temperature was high yesterday, which allowed me to air dry my freshly washed laundry without having to use the dryer machine (& save energy!). However, I was just as happy when I saw from my bedroom window the clouds rolling in. I really enjoyed the change of pace & being able to throw on my favorite sweater & a pair of comfy jeans. It’s these little moments in life that truly bring me joy. I want to be able to appreciate & soak up all of these little things in life & live my life peacefully.
Whether it’s hot or cold, I will enjoy every day to the fullest. Until the next time, cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
For the past couple of weeks, the weather in my area has been so beautiful during the daytime, but super chilly in the evenings. I am really, really, really enjoying this kind of weather (warm in the day, cold at night). One of my favorite aspects of this weather is when I get to step into a relaxing, hot shower while it’s icy cold outside. Then, while I’m in the shower, I take that alone time to let all of my innermost thoughts flow out of my mind. It feels like a therapeutic release, letting all of my bottled up thoughts of that day just flow out.
Sometimes I get really deep into my thoughts, talking to myself internally about family drama or about personal doubts. Other times I’ll just talk out loud to myself, ranting about unimportant things, like some moronic thing I heard a vapid, air head say on a dumb reality TV show. Last night, while taking a late night shower, I had some really random thoughts swirling around in my mind.
There are times when I’ll share the bathroom with Jian, & we’ll both catch each other humming or singing a song one of us will recognize. One of us will just jump right in & sing right along with the other person. Usually I’m the one who catches him singing or humming a song in the shower, & I’ll often times recognize the song, sneak into the bathroom as quietly as I possibly can, & then surprise him by loudly singing along with him. There are other times when Jian will catch me off guard & try to sing along with me, which causes us to break in to a fit of laughter.
Let me just include a tiny little disclaimer here by saying: neither Jian nor I have great singing capabilities. We are not the best singers. We’re not going to audition for American Idol at any time in our lives. Not gonna happen, ever. However, we do enjoy singing with our friends at karaoke bars, & I’d say we’re pretty decent at it. I mean, at least we can carry a tune, & neither of us are tone deaf…so I think either one of us singing in the shower is not a crime.
I, myself, love singing along to my favorite songs. I’ve always got my Spotify playlists playing when I’m working at my computer station at home, & I’m always singing along to all of the songs on my playlists. I also sing along to the radio whenever I’m driving in my car. Although I won’t really sing along to the car radio if I’ve got other passengers in my car other than Jian. I’ve also sung open mic karaoke at multiple dive bars…sober. However, usually my friends & I like to sing at private room karaoke lounges (’cause we get the mic all to ourselves & get to pick our own songs). Perhaps all that singing in the shower has prepared me for karaoke. LOL!
I sometimes complain to Jian about this, but I really don’t enjoy the “perks” of being a woman, especially a woman who takes care in keeping up a presentable, decent appearance. I will lament to Jian that I sometimes wish I could be more like a man. Then I wouldn’t have to spend a frivolous amount of time in the shower shaving body parts, using fancy smelling soaps & shampoos, & doing all of this frou-frou stuff to make my hair soft, shiny & pretty. On top of that, once I step out of the shower, I have to rub special lotion all over my body, apply all kinds of creams & anti-wrinkle & anti-blemish, blah, blah, blah on my face.
For guys, all they have to do is use a generic soap & shampoo, scrub up, rinse off, & towel themselves dry. That’s basically all there is to it for a no-frills kind of guy like Jian. Well, I will admit that I got Jian to use a facial moisturizer to hydrate his super dry, flaky skin, but that’s pretty much the only extra step he has in his nightly shower routine. I on the other hand, have 20 more steps to take before I can throw on my pj’s & climb into bed. Ugh! Why can’t I just have a three-step nightly routine, like Jian…a dude? It’s annoying sometimes.
My final thought blurb is about that time right when you finish washing & you turn off your shower. Yes, that does sound weirdly specific…but I swear this is going somewhere. As I had mentioned earlier on in this meaningless blog post, it’s been super cold at night where I live, & there’s nothing better on a cold night than taking a hot shower…or bath. (I’m an equal opportunity bather.) However, the one part I absolutely loath the most about showering is those five to ten seconds right after you turn off that glorious, hot water & reach out to grab your towel.
No matter what you do, you will feel that initial gust of cold wind hit your body, & it’s just “bad news bears” all around. It feels like you’ve just jumped in to the deepest waters of Antarctica, naked. Sometimes I’ll try to just poke my hand around a small sliver opening in my shower curtain, & try to stealthily pull my towel in to avoid letting the hot steam escape, but I always end up letting in a frosty gust of wind into my hot, steamy cocoon. It annoys the hell out of me. I was actually thinking this yesterday as I was just about to finish my shower. I kept saying to myself that I wish I could just stand under the hot water for ten more minutes before I have to MacGuyver my towel into my steamy shower cocoon behind my shower curtain. I nearly froze my nips off trying to pull my fluffy towel behind the curtain, but I managed to not freeze my body too much.
The struggle is real, folks. A real steamy struggle. I am so sorry for this stupid post about taking showers. I wish I had more engaging content to write about this week, but my brain is on strike. Until next time, cheers & stay soapy friends…
Today’s song of the day:
Rabbits & Foxes 
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