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Well, a lot has happened in the past couple of months that I haven’t had the time to talk about in this blog. It has taken me nearly three months to finally pull myself together & sit down to write. I have quite a few things to tell you all. I don’t even know where to begin, & I don’t want to ramble on & on. So here I go.
I guess I will start at the top of my list of topics, which will be last year’s Christmas holiday. It was a very jam-packed holiday break, most likely the busiest Christmas break I have ever experienced. My grand-uncle (grandmother’s youngest brother) celebrated his 90th birthday with a grand banquet celebration. Nearly every single family member from my mom’s side of my family all descended upon the San Francisco Bay Area for the first time in decades. Being surrounded by all of my relatives, & especially my first cousins whom I’m becoming even closer to, was a blast. It was just a shame that my niece & nephew couldn’t be there & get to know their own cousins from their generation.
Christmas itself was pretty much the same as every other year, with the exception of my niece & nephew (yet again). Things between this side of the family & their side of the family have become extremely tense in the recent months. It’s not something I want to open up about at this time, but I will say that that particular situation is what caused me to make a firm New Year’s resolution about being mindful, patient, & careful of what comes out of my mouth.
Then right after Christmas, Jian & I celebrated the new year together. We got tickets to see Portugal. The Man in concert on New Year’s Eve, & we had the best time celebrating together even though we both were recovering from severe colds. Oh man, it was a real huge bummer when everybody in our household got a cold right before the new year. We were all sniffling, sneezing, & trying to relieve our runny, drippy noses as well as fighting off a nasty coughing spell.
Nevertheless, Jian & I had a great time at the concert. We were super excited to finally be able to watch Portugal. The Man live in concert for the first time, & were even more excited that another one of the bands we liked, Chicano Batman, was going to be the opening act that night. Though we were bummed that Chicano Batman didn’t end up performing our favorite song & their most popular song on the radio “Friendship Is A Small Boat In The Storm“.
When P.TM came on stage to perform, we were already in the dancing mood. We were each wearing our free paper party hats (courtesy of the venue) & getting super pumped up to sing along to our favorite songs. We loved that this band invited a local American First Nations tribe to perform a ceremonial chant before their set performance (as they do before every one of their concerts). However, we did not love the smoke machine they used on stage. That smoke machine was incredibly annoying, & whoever decided to place the smoke machine directly in front of the lead singer(s) wasn’t thinking practically, or even thinking at all! That stupid smoke machine created so much smoke that it completely engulfed the main band members at the front of the stage & you could hardly see anything happening on the stage because of that stupid machine. It was both annoying & distracting. In between songs, when the smoke machine was turned off, that’s about the only time you could actually see the lead singer John Gourley.
It was weird that the smoke machine was only directed towards the front corner of the stage where the main microphones were staged. The smoke did not even reach the rest of the stage, so the smoke was very concentrated to only one side of the stage. The funny thing that happened at the concert though, was when it came time to count down to the new year & the venue was preparing to drop a ton of balloons from the ceiling. Because the band had this crazy laser light show background, the laser lights would pop the balloons as they fell from the ceiling, making an extremely loud popping noise. People were also purposely throwing balloons into the laser lights just to pop the other balloons. By the time the concert was over, the 300+ balloons were whittled down to approximately 10 or so.
There was one couple sitting next to us where the wife slept through the entire concert. As soon as she sat down in her seat, she made herself comfortable & proceeded to take a nap. The husband went out to get drinks, which the woman never touched, & sat in his seat the entire time just bobbing his head once in a while. Then right before the countdown to the new year, the husband woke the wife up & they both walked out of the venue. Neither of them seemed happy, nor happy to be there. We still had a memorable concert experience that night.
Shortly after ringing in the new year, one of my cousins hosted her 21st birthday party in Las Vegas. All of the aunts, uncles, & cousins gathered to celebrate our cousin’s milestone birthday, & boy was it a memorable weekend celebration! We all had such a blast spending time together as one big happy family, & I was especially happy to spend time with a cousin I consider to be like my little sister. Oh, I think now would be a good time to let you in on a little secret about my extended family. They love going to Las Vegas, & they love to gamble…but mostly they love to eat, drink & be merry. My relatives go to Las Vegas at least 4 or 5 times a year, & they really know how to show you a good time when you visit there.
Here comes the final part of this post. This is the real reason why I have been M.I.A. from this blog for the past couple of months. I have been seeing a fertility doctor for a majority of the past two months. I’ve been going through a complicated medication routine/schedule, getting blood tests nearly every other day, getting exams from my doctor. It’s been a very busy time for me personally. All of this back-&-forth to & from the doctor’s clinic has been wearing me out, & on top of that, I recently had to be put on another strict medication regimen where I have to get a long needle shot in my butt. Yes, I said butt! But this is all worth it because I just found out some exciting & positive news that I have successfully procreated (with the help of medical science). I don’t want to talk about it too much in this blog post, but let’s just say that I am both elated & scared shitless (which is totally normal), & that’s all I’m going to say on this subject. I do not want to turn this site into another mommy blog.
I hope all of this reading hasn’t worn you out. Until next time, cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
I don’t mean to start this blog post off with drama, but the family “tea” just got turnt up to scalding hot, basically. Ugh! Why can’t our tea cups be empty for once?! Well anyway, I’m not going to get into specifics (as I usually say), but I will hint that a psychiatric evaluation is in order. Ok, maybe not that severe, but perhaps more like a psychological evaluation instead. That’s all I’m going to address on that topic.
So, it’s a new year & a whole new decade. I don’t have any elaborate resolutions in the new year. I only have one resolution, & that is to be more mindful of the things I say. More specifically that means that I want to continue to learn how to be less impulsive & careless in my abrupt/hasty reactions to situations, especially with the things I say. I want to incorporate more patience in my continuance to learn as well.
Often times, when a heated situation arises, & I open my spontaneous mouth to speak, I think I am being quick-witted, snarky, or justifiably defensive &/or reprimanding. However, I have come to learn that every time in those instances, I come off as offensive, ignorant of the “bigger picture”, naïve, narrow-minded, & a few times arrogant &/or judgmental. I often times end up with a proverbial foot in my mouth (sometimes two feet). My wayward lips just can’t seem to stop flapping about when it would be more wise to remain quiet, which is my roundabout way of saying I don’t know when to shut up.
Let me give you an example or two just for context. In the first instance, whenever I get into an argument or debate with Jian, I always get rightfully put in my place. I will say the first things on my mind impulsively without thinking through whether or not my statements are relevant or helpful to my argument. Jian will step in to correct my statements, or try to steer the conversation back on track, but I will only bolster my stubbornness & dig my heels in further to back up my abrupt comments. I don’t think my thoughts through. I just throw out a bunch of words hoping they will stick to something. My arguing style is very haphazard & careless, which is why I can never fully win an argument with Jian.
In the second instance, I become extremely reactionary when it comes to specific people in my life with whom I have a highly strained relationship. Oh, man. I am not exaggerating when I say I have a highly strained relationship with this person, not even a little bit. Whenever we get together with this person, the whole room fills with uncomfortable tension. As soon as the conversation starts, I can already feel my impulsive reactions bubbling to the surface waiting to explode. I have a difficult time stopping myself from shouting “You’re wrong! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” or something a little more colorful & off-hand.
I got my first taste of learning in the moment on how to bite my tongue when I don’t need to insert myself into a conversation during this past Christmas holiday. That specific person came home for the holidays & things had already been strained from previous incidents, yet this past Christmas break was especially awkward. There were more than a few times when I wanted to jump up onto the kitchen table & shout at this person directly to their face. However, I truly tried to enact actual change in my behavior by chanting to myself softly under my breath, “Do not react. Do not engage.”
You see, I really do want to succeed in this resolution. I understand that running my mouth doesn’t solve or do anything. I end up right where I started, at square one with nothing to show for it but with a whole lotta proverbial egg on my face & metaphorical feet in my mouth. I do have patience, as in I have patience in doing menial & repetitive tasks, but I understand that I have to channel that patience towards more useful aspects of my life…like when it comes to talking with others. This past Christmas holiday really, truly, taught me so much on how to approach my resolution for the new year. I am excited to see how far I will have come in my mental maturity. Until the next post, cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
This post is a follow-up of sorts to my last list blog post about gifts. The previous post was about a thoughtful gift I have received. This new post will be talking about a gift I have enjoyed giving to someone else.
SIDE NOTE: Sorry I’ve been absent from my blog these past few weeks. I’ve been going through a ton of medical appointments & doctor’s visits, & just haven’t had the time, or physical energy, to sit down & properly write. Over the past couple of weeks (approximately 1 month or so), I had been placed on a strict medication schedule & had been going to my doctor’s clinic at least 2 to 3 times per week. As for now, things in that aspect of my life are still up in the air, but the picture is slowly becoming more clear. Now is the time to wait for results & new steps to take on that particular journey. That’s all I am going to say for now.
As you may or may not know, I L-O-V-E being generous & giving gifts to other people, & I never ever expect anything in return. I just love the act of giving something cute & fun, &/or something meaningful & thoughtful to the people I truly care about. It’s not about shopping or spending the money. It’s all about seeing the surprised & happy reactions on the faces of the gift receivers.
When prompted by the 99 Things That Bring Me Joy journal to choose one gift I enjoyed giving to someone else, I had a hard time deciding which one I should write about. I ended up choosing to write about something that is not just one item, but a series of items, & they’re also not really gifts, per se. They are actually handwritten letters…letters I’ve written to Jian. Heh, you probably have an idea about what kind of letters I’m hinting at here. So let’s not beat around the bush anymore & get straight to it, shall we?
To give you a brief glimpse into the early stages of my relationship with Jian, we used to talk on the phone with each other non-stop on the weekends, & I would write him old fashioned letters every week. Jian was at the very tail end of his college career, & I had already finished my schooling & was already working. (Let me remind all of you that I am the more mature-aged person in our relationship…by only a modest amount.)
a sample of the letters I wrote
It was the early 2000’s, & snail mail was still a ‘thing’. I wrote Jian cute letters, mostly writing flowery, romantic nonsense. I would use my most sickly sweet Hello Kitty-esque stationery & decorate it with a shitload of stickers & girly craft junk. What can I say? I was still in my early mhmmm-eens/ies (not revealing my true age here) & had rosy stars in my eyes…or in today’s terminology: 😍.
And, well, you know what? To this very day, Jian has kept every single one of those cloyingly sweet letters I wrote him. That just shows how much he really appreciated all of those words I wrote to him (even if he did find all of my stupid stickers annoying). I really love the fact that Jian continues to cherish all of the letters & cards that I write to him. It goes to show that he absorbed all of those heartfelt sentiments that I expressed to him, & he shows me his own heartfelt sentiments in return every single day.
I really cherish that time in our relationship where we were getting to know each other & build our relationship. Now, we couldn’t be a more stronger team. We are so in sync with each other that every day just feels so natural & second-nature to us both. So we’ll both continue on together & keep on going down our own path, making our own journey. Until next time, cheers.
Today’s song of the day:
