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The year of 2025 is over, & I am incredibly grateful & appreciative for such an eventful year. The biggest milestone of that year was my child turning 5. I cannot believe she is already half a decade old already. Five years in, & I still cannot believe that I am a mother, a caretaker of another human being that I helped to create. I mean, I still feel like a child myself most days. How could I possibly be responsible for a child of my own? It’s hard for me to wrap my head around it, but it’s happening, & I am figuring it out minute-by-minute.
Here are a few other things that I am grateful for that happened in 2025:
- I’ve made some small, yet positive steps towards changing a few stubborn habits & behavioral patterns
- I’ve learned to be slightly less of a ‘helicopter parent’
- I went on TWO major & meaningful overseas vacations
- I strengthened relationships with family members I have struggled to communicate with in the past
- I was able to take my mom on a significant & core-memory-making overseas trip with her youngest granddaughter (for context, she has never been on any significant trip with any of her grandchildren, ever.)
- I only (unwillingly) listened to &/or heard the song All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey THREE TIMES throughout the entire Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season.
- Plenty of western Christmas music was played all throughout the Asian countries I visited during my 3-week autumn/winter vacation, but I only heard Mariah’s voice blaring once the entire time. Hallelujah!
Seriously, you don’t understand how grateful I am for that last item on my list. Well, I mean, I don’t necessarily hate that particular song, but hearing it more than a few of times (& I used to work in retail at my local shopping mall for a few years) can be incredibly annoying & boring.
As for this new year, 2026…I am not sure if I am looking forward to what lies ahead. I have mixed feelings as of right now. My child is about to leave preschool & move on to elementary/primary school. If you’ve been following my blog since the beginning, you’ll understand that I am extremely afraid of any type of change…like, life-altering/milestone types of change, not change in weather or fashion, or tv shows…so, I am feeling mixed bouts of anxiety at the moment. Maybe that’s what triggered me being ill at the very start of the new year. Who knows? I probably just need to build up my immune system. (I’ve been under the weather more times in the past year than any other year within the last decade.) We’ll see. Until the next one, hope for the best.
Song of the Day:
A Daruma doll (達磨) is a hollow, round, Japanese traditional doll modeled after Bodhidharma, the founder of the Zen tradition of Buddhism. These dolls, though typically red and depicting the Indian monk, Bodhidharma, vary greatly in color and design depending on region and artist. Though considered a toy by some, Daruma has a design that is rich in symbolism and is regarded more as a talisman of good luck to the Japanese. Daruma dolls are seen as a symbol of perseverance and good luck, making them a popular gift of encouragement. The doll has also been commercialized by many Buddhist temples to use alongside the setting of goals. (Courtesy of Wikipedia)
I have always loved Daruma dolls & truly believe in their symbolism. The first time I had ever decided to use Daruma dolls to set a goal was when I planning my pregnancy. Jian & I had purchased 3 miniature Daruma dolls from our favorite Japanese clothing & lifestyle brand BEAMS, long before I had ever decided to try to get pregnant. We had originally planned to keep them as display collectibles. It wasn’t until I started my IVF journey, when I decided to use those Daruma dolls to set my pregnancy goals (& perhaps make a wish or two). For each of the dolls I had set very intentional goals. After those three goals had been met, I knew the Daruma dolls held a great significance and meaning within my personal journey.
Jian & I have taken our daughter on many short-term localized vacations, road trips, airplane trips, but we’ve never actually prepared ourselves to take her on an 11-hour plane ride across the Pacific ocean until last year. We had also not taken a long-form trip like this since before the COVID pandemic happened, & I wanted to take extra precautions to make sure good fortune & good planning were on our side. I know I am sounding very superstitious here, but I wanted to cover all my bases on the ‘luck’ front.
This is when I thought of my miniature Daruma dolls sitting on a display shelf in Jian’s home office. At first I thought of getting a Daruma doll just for the fun of it and not trying to take it too seriously. I wrote down a few wishes I had regarding our trip on a small piece of paper. I folded it up and placed it under the Daruma doll (after drawing the first eye, of course).
I wasn’t sure if this was just a silly little ritual that you do symbolically, or if it was the real deal. I had to wait until the end of our trip to determine its legitimacy. As you can see where I’m leading with this, it was a triumph! All of my wishes had been fulfilled. Just so you know, I didn’t write down any outrageous wishes or anything like that, only simple things like: a smooth flight, make lots of core memories, don’t get sick during the trip, etcetera.
This is the part where I tell you about the tradition that started forming in my head. I had decided from that trip on, that I would get a new Daruma doll for every major family trip. It was from that point on, I had become a true believer in the power of the Daruma doll.
This coming Spring, in a few weeks actually, we are taking our little bean to Japan again. This time we are tagging along with our best friends and their family (our friends, their 2 kids, 2 grandparents). Our friends haven’t been on a proper, long-form vacation in nearly a decade, & they felt that now was their time to go. They invited us to go with them, & we made the impulse decision to tag along.
We had originally planned to take only one overseas vacation this year, taking our little bean to China for the first time to meet her other relatives. However, with the current currency exchange rate being so favorable to us here in the U.S., & we are still riding the high of our last trip to Japan (even though that was 2 years ago), we leapt at the chance of going back there. Plus, Jian has always wanted to experience Japan in the Spring when the famous cherry blossoms are in bloom & seasonal allergies are running rampant.
I have continued my new found tradition & recently bought two new Daruma dolls: one black (to ward off bad luck), & one red (to promote good luck). Since we are traveling with a larger group this time around, I wanted to make sure I stacked the deck in the good luck department. I am hoping (& praying) this new tradition I’ve started is successful once again. I will try to report my results upon our return.
This all may sound like silly superstition & childish games, but it is fun to have something positive to look forward to & a solid goal to reach for. Besides, this is just for me & not for everyone. So that’s that. Until the next one, 乾杯。
Today’s song of the day:
I was listening to the song “Your Side of Town” by The Killers on the radio today, and it very much reminded me of a close friend of mine who has the same tastes in western music as I do. The style of this song got me reminiscing about the kind of music each of us used to listen to when we were in high school…or maybe even younger.
I was listening to this song, bopping along in my car, and my mind started imagining and making up a story/scenario. I was imagining my friend being back in high school, but the whole tone had a John Hughes (a classic 1980s movie director, if you didn’t know) vibe. I was picturing my friend standing against the wall on the side of the school, wearing skinny-ish jeans & a slouchy blazer with a collared shirt & skinny tie, trying to flirt with girls while feeling super angst and moody.
That got my mind drifting and wandering even more, & as I parked my car in my driveway, I stopped my imaginary stories. I suddenly realized, while also talking to myself aloud in the car, that I love my imagination. I love the way my mind drifts & I can invent wild & fanciful stories that I can picture to myself so vividly.
I have always been a kid who can make up stories with my own imagination, on the spot. I rarely write them down, but I often remember stories I’ve thought of years ago. Sometimes I will go back to one of my old imaginings & reimagine the whole scenario with added embellishments, or to fit the current time. Other times, I will think back on an old story I made up just to reminisce about that scenario I once thought of.
No matter how old I get, I will never stop imagining stories or daydream in my mind. I love every one of my made up stories. They are little scenes just for me, and they make me so happy. Cheers.
Rabbits & Foxes 
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