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Dude, like really, going to the doctor’s office makes me feel anxious & nervous, even when I have to go in for a routine check-up or for a specific reason; always has, & always will. Going to the dentist’s office also makes me nervous as hell, like, for real, but we’ll get into that some other time. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment scheduled for later this week, you know, before I head on up to Van City, & I’m already feeling the anxiety.
I know that I’m only going to the doctor’s office for a just a follow-up chat with a specialist I’ve already met & talked to before, but it still makes me freak the hell out on the inside. My mind cannot stop thinking about my upcoming appointment, & I’m not liking this one bit. I can’t stop dwelling on this upcoming appointment, feeling terrified of what the doctor may or may not say. I know (in the back of my mind) that I can’t control what the outcome will be after my chat with this specialist doctor, but it worries me to think he might say something that will affect the outcome I would like to achieve.
Once this doctor’s visit is done & over with, I will be able to breath a sigh of relief, & will be able to spend my time in Vancouver with no anxiety looming over my head. I am seriously dreading this appointment, yet I can’t wait to get this over with. I’ve always been a little chicken shit scaredy cat when it comes to things like doctor & dental check-ups. Even when I’m going to get a routine teeth cleaning, I’ll feel nervous & on edge all the way until the dental assistant hands me that little plastic baggie with the travel sized toothpaste & dental floss & tells me I get to choose my own free toothbrush color.
I remember crying so hard as a kid whenever I had to go to the dentist (which was all the time, even though I hardly ate sweets or drank soda). I used to cry so hard when I was little that my mom would often pretend that I wasn’t her child when other parents would glance at her in the waiting room of the dentist’s office. It got so bad that my dentist would have to put me to sleep with laughing gas in order to do something as simple as fill a cavity.
Of course, I’m much better now. At least I don’t cry when I’m in the exam room…but that doesn’t mean that I’m not white-knuckle balling my hands into fists as I wait for my name to be called by the nurse. In my head, I’m counting down the minutes to when I can bolt out the door & run for my life to my car to get the hell out of Dodge. My mind drifts to all of the what-if-shit-goes-horribly-wrong scenarios, & that makes me feel even more anxious & on edge. Then, when I finally finish my appointment with my doctor &/or dentist, that’s when I can finally breathe again. I don’t always leave the doctor’s/dentist’s office feeling like I’m on top of the world, but I feel immensely relieved that I won’t have to see that professional for another few months, & then the anxiety train arrives all over again.
Well, I’m going to try to push myself to think more positively about this upcoming doctor’s visit, but I don’t think I’ll be very successful. Once I start feeling those nervous/anxious emotions, it’s hard to jump off that train. All I can do is hope for the best outcome afterwards. Then it’s off to Van City!! I’m so excited for my trip up north, that it’s almost helping me to forget that I’ve got a not-sos-cary-but-yes-it-is-scary doctor’s appointment coming up. Until then, Cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
It’s like LL Cool J said back in the 80’s: “I’m going back to Cali, Cali, Cali Vancouver, Vancouver, Vancouver…”. Or like what Notorious B.I.G. said back in the 90’s: “I’m going going, back back, to Cali Cali Vancouver Vancouver…”. Yes, folks. I’ll be traveling yet again. It almost feels like I’m never settled down in one place lately. If I’m not traveling, then I’m always hosting visiting family members at home. There is never a dull moment in my life, & I’m so extremely appreciative/grateful/thankful of every aspect, every facet, everything.
Truth be told, Jian is heading to Vancouver for a week-long business trip, & he invited me to tag along. I accepted his invitation, of course, but also suggested that we invite my mom to tag along with us. Jian agreed with my suggestion wholeheartedly. As a matter of fact, Jian enjoys traveling with my mom every now & again. We once tagged along with my mom on a trip to Washington D.C. where she was invited to a family friend’s wedding, & the three of us had the time of our lives despite the wet weather. My mom & I are super excited to be visiting Vancouver once again. Jian, not as much…because of his work obligations. [Insert laugh track here.] My mom hasn’t visited the lovely country of Canada in several years. The last time she traveled there was to attend one of my dad’s high school reunions of all of his foreign-born-Japan-schooled classmates. The last time I visited the North, was almost 25 years ago. I was barely a teenager when I visited Vancouver with my parents & younger cousin for the first time.
I’m really, genuinely excited to be traveling to Vancouver once again, but one thing worries me: the shopping! I don’t want to go all the way to Vancouver & come back with another giant haul of stationery & office supply goods. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this out loud, but I’m getting a little weary of my ever-growing mountain of stationery goods. It’s kind of becoming overwhelming, & I barely have time to use everything. I’ve got quite a few items, in their original packaging, that have not even had the seal broken or even seen the light of day. The KonMari guru Marie Kondo would not be happy with me right now. I’m actually quite embarrassed myself, but I’ll live with it.
Jian has already been on a few business trips to Vancouver, & sometimes he says the food there is positively delicious. Other times he says the food sceen is mediocre (like how he described the food in London). I plan on proving Jian wrong, just like I did about the food we ate in London, which was incredible by the way. I’m planning on stuffing myself silly with good food, scrumptious cocktails, & piping hot drip coffee. (OK, I’m officially making myself hungry as I type this paragraph.)
Spending quality time with my mom is also a bonus. We are definitely going to have a blast together (mom’s Sciatica be damned!). But until our trip, Cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
Well, it’s been raining fairly hard here where I live. Yesterday, I sat at a cozy corner window seat in the local big box coffee shop down the street from my house, sipping my heavily creamed coffee & nibbling on a too-small-to-satisfy-my-appetite breakfast sandwich. I was feeling inspired while watching the rain pour down outside,& it was warm, dry, & comfortable inside. I originally planned to write this blog post yesterday, but got distracted by Instagram & Spotify, so I ended up wasting my time at the coffee shop creating playlists & liking overly staged/edited glamour photos.
Today we have a break in the wet weather, but it’s quite cloudy & foggy where I live, so that atmosphere is also keeping me inspired to write today. I am now sitting in my kitchen with the electric heater on low, & drinking an unfortunately rapidly cooling cup of home-brewed coffee. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I’ve got my Spotify app playing lovely café jazz music in the background. It’s putting me in a good mood to write some other frivolous & somewhat unimportant things. My blog tends to be filled with fluff posts anyway.
Well, to jump right into things. I recently have been hooked on watching home architecture/design shows about floating water homes, & it got my memories flowing of when I was a young child imagining my dream fantasy home. The one memory that stands out the most is one of myself living in a floating home. Well, I guess they used to be called house boats back in the old days of the 1980s & 90s, but now they’re called floating homes. I’ve always been fascinated by the design & architecture of homes floating on the water, docked like sail boats & yachts. It has been a secret fantasy/dream/desire of mine to live in a floating home. This dream has become more intense after watching all those HGTV-style shows about people custom building their own floating homes.
This is so unusual for me to even consider. I am not really such a big fan of being in or near water. I am not a good swimmer. I took swimming lessons as a kid, but only enough lessons to pass my swimming test & earn my certificate. I now know only enough swimming basics to keep me from drowning if I ever fell into a pool, or fell off a boat. I don’t even really like to swim. I am also not a big fan of beaches or boats (even though I have been on a few cruise ships in my day). I’ve only gone canoeing once in my life, & don’t get much opportunity to do that again. I am also obviously not a jet skier nor water skier. Well, I guess that means I won’t be moving to Hawaii anytime soon. However, I’ve always dreamed of living on a house boat (a.k.a. floating home).
Floating home architecture has always intrigued me, & I’ve always thought it would be amazing to live in a unique home on a quiet strip of water overlooking beautiful outdoor landscapes with only a few neighbors nearby. I don’t know how I would handle severe weather conditions (like turbulent winter waters), but I would still like to live on a house boat. Being able to custom build my own floating home would be so cool & interesting. I don’t think I would want to take on the challenge of retrofitting & remodeling an existing boat or barge, but building an actual home on a floating foundation is probably the architectural route I would take. I saw one episode of a show where this Dutch couple designed an entire wall made of floor-to-ceiling windows, with panoramic doors that fully open to showcase the water landscape. The wife playfully asked the husband, “Who’s going to clean all the windows?”. That brought up a good point in my mind, since I am such a neat freak, I wouldn’t want to spend all of my day washing windows…especially if I have to stand outside, hovering over the open waters (with my extremely limited swimming skills). So, let’s just conclude that I wouldn’t put too many panoramic windows in my design. Also, I would like to have the option to be able to strut around my house in my birthday suit without the prying eyes of any nosy snoops. I’ve compiled a small collection of inspirational photos for reference to what I’m looking for in my fantasy house boat. As you can tell from the photos below, I am kind of a big fan of the minimal, contemporary architecture style.
(All photos courtesy of Pinterest.)
Don’t get me wrong. I love the house I’m living in now. I live in the beautiful Eichler home I was born & raises in, in a wonderfully quiet & tame suburban neighborhood, & I could not imagine planting my roots anywhere else, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to also own a floating house boat one day, maybe use it as a vacation home. I’m just describing a childhood fantasy I once had. Who knows? Maybe this will happen one day… One can dream. Until then, cheers!
Today’s song of the day:
Rabbits & Foxes 
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