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I was listening to the song “Your Side of Town” by The Killers on the radio today, and it very much reminded me of a close friend of mine who has the same tastes in western music as I do. The style of this song got me reminiscing about the kind of music each of us used to listen to when we were in high school…or maybe even younger.
I was listening to this song, bopping along in my car, and my mind started imagining and making up a story/scenario. I was imagining my friend being back in high school, but the whole tone had a John Hughes (a classic 1980s movie director, if you didn’t know) vibe. I was picturing my friend standing against the wall on the side of the school, wearing skinny-ish jeans & a slouchy blazer with a collared shirt & skinny tie, trying to flirt with girls while feeling super angst and moody.
That got my mind drifting and wandering even more, & as I parked my car in my driveway, I stopped my imaginary stories. I suddenly realized, while also talking to myself aloud in the car, that I love my imagination. I love the way my mind drifts & I can invent wild & fanciful stories that I can picture to myself so vividly.
I have always been a kid who can make up stories with my own imagination, on the spot. I rarely write them down, but I often remember stories I’ve thought of years ago. Sometimes I will go back to one of my old imaginings & reimagine the whole scenario with added embellishments, or to fit the current time. Other times, I will think back on an old story I made up just to reminisce about that scenario I once thought of.
No matter how old I get, I will never stop imagining stories or daydream in my mind. I love every one of my made up stories. They are little scenes just for me, and they make me so happy. Cheers.
What’s your go-to comfort food?
My absolute comfort food is kind of boring, but actually isn’t. It’s a sandwich; just a sandwich. It’s not my family staples of Chinese or Japanese food. It’s just a good old fashioned sandwich.
I won’t get into all the details of which sandwiches are my favorite, or which condiments I like to put in those sandwiches. That topic would take way too long for me to explain. Also, I won’t get into the whole debate on whether or not a hot dog is considered a sandwich, which by association, that should mean that a hamburger is also a sandwich. Lots of American eateries even use sandwich bread to make their own hamburger recipes.
I have been eating sandwiches ever since I started going to school, even in pre-school & summer school where we were asked to bring our own brown bag lunches. My mom would make me a ham & cheese sandwich with mayonnaise on white bread (until I found out I was supposed to be allergic to white bread). That was my earliest memory of eating sandwiches. Ever since then, I have grown very fond of eating sandwiches.
Sandwiches are easy to throw together when you can’t think of anything to actually cook. They are versatile; I mean, you can put just about anything you want in a sandwich, savory or sweet, & you can use any kind of bread you want. Sandwiches are also very portable & easy to eat when you’re on the go rushing out the door, or having a leisurely picnic.
I just very much enjoy eating sandwiches. That’s why I would say a sandwich is my go-to comfort food. It’s something I have always eaten since childhood, & besides, who would actually say that duck a l’orange or coq a vin served with a side of haricots vert is their comfort food? That’s ridiculous. I want to eat something quick, easy, & delicious. Sandwiches. Boo-ya! Cheers.
Today’s song of the day:
Change in environment freaks me out. It makes me feel anxious & very unsettled. That’s probably why I am a creature of habit. I watch the same TV show episodes & movies over & over again, & don’t really look for new things to watch. I do all of my daily routines in the exact same order every time. I like things to (mostly) always stay the same.
That has also trickled down in to my little bean’s life as well. She eats roughly around the same time everyday, takes her nap around the same time daily, & bathe around the same time before bedtime as well. This has programmed her body to naturally want to eat & sleep around the same times every day. While these habits are good to build structure in my little bean’s life, it also provides a sense of comfort for me as well because I know what to expect each day.
Tomorrow Jian & I have an appointment to take a tour of a potential daycare facility we might want our little bean to start attending. My mom has been hounding pushing us for months & months to send our little bean to daycare. She & Jian have both been pushing the narrative that our little bean needs to learn to interact more with other kids her own age & not stay cooped up in the house all day with no other kids to play with. However, I also know that they want a break from our little bean, so they have time for themselves.
Yes, it is important for our little bean to learn to play with others & interact with kids her own age. She needs to develope her own social skills & become more independent, but I’m terrified to let her go. Sending our little bean to daycare, even if it’s once or twice a week, scares me so much. I am having a very tough time coming to terms with letting her out of my white knuckle grasp.
Our little bean was born during the height of COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns. For the past 2 & a half years, she has always stayed by my side, & I was able to use the pandemic as an excuse to delay the inevitable…sending our little bean to daycare or to even hire a babysitter for a couple of hours. Just thinking about it sends alarm bells ringing in my head.
I have not been able to stop overthinking about tomorrow’s appointment. I know we are only going to take a tour of the daycare place. Who knows if they’ll even have availability for our little bean to go there. However, this kind of major change in her life & in mine, it freaks me out, & I don’t know how to cope with my anxiety.
I understand that I cannot keep our little bean locked in our house forever. I will have to let her grow up sooner rather than later. I am just overthinking things. My heart will break seeing her cry & cling to me as I drop her off at her future daycare place. I will also feel super embarrassed to see all the other parents glare/stare at me while my child throws a fit as I drop her off; the whole time I will be thinking internally that the other parents are judging me.
My mind is racing even as I am writing this post. The more I think about it, the more my thoughts become illogical. I think I should stop this post here for now. Until the next post, cheers.
Today’s song of the day:
Rabbits & Foxes 
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